Exiles
by choose joy xox
Summary: After his release from prison, Toby Cavanaugh flees to the quaint town of Rosewood, Pennsylvania in the hopes of hiding from the demons that haunt him. But instead of settling down he quickly finds his world turning upside down. AU. Read and review, please!
1. Chapter 1

**My brain never stops, I swear to God. This just came to me, and I think I busted this out in about a half an hour. I'm getting to work on the second chapter right away, while I'm inspired, and it genuinely might be up tonight haha. No self control. This is short, but it's a prologue more than anything. You should be confused, that's my intention.**

**That being said, I'm not 100% set on writing this. I need to see that there's an interest, because I'm not in to writing this for myself. If no one's reading it, what's the point, you know? So let me know if you think I should continue.**

**If I DO continue, this will PROBABLY pretty regularly alternate between Spencer and Toby's POV. Their stories should intersect late next chapter or the chapter after that.**

**Anyway, let me know what you think.**

Chapter 1

TPOV

He pulled his worn jacket more tightly around his shoulders as someone walked inside, filling the immediate vicinity with the chilled air. New York had an arctic feel to it today, and he couldn't be more grateful that he was finally able to wear what he wanted again. It seemed like such a small thing, but when you were forced to wear the unforgiving, orange prison garb it made you one of a number. It made you one of the lowest members of society; one who was not worthy of even regulating his own temperature. He spent a good part of the last five years in a perpetual uncomfortable state.

But now he was free; and a small part of him was grateful for the cold, for the unrestricted access to fresh air, to the sun.

He patted his pocket for what was probably the fiftieth time. The only things he owned were tucked carefully into his tattered backpack or in the deep pocket of his oversize jeans. "Are you _sure_?"

His cousin Lucas just rolled his eyes, pushing him toward the platform. "I'm sure. You need to get out of here, Toby."

For years upon years he had dreamed of his release. He thought about the food he would eat... the people that he would apologize to... the ones that he would confront. He thought about the places that he would go, the things that he would do, the opportunities that he would never again take for granted. "Lucas..."

"If you go on some spiel about how thankful you are I might puke in that trashcan." He pressed a thick manila envelope into his hands. "Some things you're going to need."

He avoided his cousin's eyes. Crying in the middle of a train station was about the last thing he wanted to do. When his parents learned of his conviction they wrote him off, and he lost most of his friends a long time ago. But Lucas? He was still there, and he didn't think that he would ever be able to express what that meant to him... he would never be able to repay his cousin for what he was doing for him right now.

In the envelope he found the basics: his license, social security card, insurance information. But he also found some extras. "_Lucas,_" he implored, as his hands wrapped around a wad of cash. "You can't-"

"You wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me Toby, and don't even try to deny it. There should be $500 in there. It's not a lot, but it's enough to get you somewhere new, and hopefully you can find work." He paused. "There's also a ticket in there; to Philadelphia. From there buy a ticket to Rosewood, Pennsylvania. That way anyone following you will have a harder time tracking you. I talked to your parole officer and explained the situation. He was skeptical at first but mentioned that he had a colleague there, Dr. Sullivan. He said that if you agreed to weekly meetings with Dr. Sullivan then he was fine with this."

"Lucas-"

Lucas just shook his head. "Your train leaves in five minutes. You have to go."

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked softly, putting a hand on his arm. He could feel Lucas shaking, but he pretended not to.

Lucas gave him a rueful smile. "I can take care of myself now, and you need to take care of you. It isn't safe for you here."

"Come with me," he tried. "Go home and get your kids. We can start over together." It wasn't sitting right with him, leaving Lucas behind. Maybe it came from a childhood defined by protecting his smaller, weaker cousin. Or maybe it was a premonition that he shouldn't ignore.

"No." He put a hand on Toby's shoulder and pushed him in the direction of the boarding train. "If it was just me, maybe. But I can't uproot the kids like that. You need to go, Cavanaugh. Now. I swear to you, I won't let anyone know where you are. You protected me for so long, let me have a turn."

"Lucas," he whispered, words kind of failing him. How do you thank someone for giving you the tools that very well might save your life? How do you leave that person behind?

"Go!" He half laughed half yelled, and shoved him in the direction that he needed to go.

Toby looked at him for a minute before nodding. "Thank you," he whispered as he turned away and got in line to board the train.

It was hard to gauge the level of selflessness it required to stay behind, to remain in the place where danger lurked around every corner, while giving someone else the tools to escape. He suspected that it came from a sense of needless guilt, but whatever the case may be he had quite literally never felt gratitude of this level. Maybe it was a chance to start new. Maybe he could do it right this time.

Because even when they were kids, he and Lucas knew what it was like to experience the worst of humanity. Living impoverished in one of the most expensive cities in the world made that practically a given. Their parents couldn't provide for them, they offered little in the way of emotional and physical support. So they had to find what they needed for themselves. And that always came with a price.

But they knew how to survive... to recover. They knew what to do when the worst happened, and that was to move on. You never stop moving on, because that's when you fail. When you stop moving, that's when it's impossible to get back up again.

He lowered himself into his designated seat just as the train lurched itself to a start. He pressed his forehead to the cold window and watched the buildings go by; he was leaving behind the only world he had ever know, and he couldn't tell if the feeling in the pit of his stomach was nervous excitement or dread.

He wanted to have hope. He wanted to believe that this was a chance to move forward, to start again. He wanted to believe that the best was yet to come. But he couldn't bring himself to do that. If he had learned nothing in his life it was that hope bred eternal misery.


	2. Chapter 2

**So this chapter introduces Spencer to you guys, and it brings hers and Toby's stories together. I got a decent response, so I'll be writing this for now. I probably won't stop once I get into it, but I reserve that right. I know what's going to happen, I don't need to write it out for myself. It's for you guys, because I feel like all the Spoby writers fell asleep at the same time for a really long nap. I hope they're having awesome Spoby dreams, but I hope someone wakes up soon lol. Because I like to read Spoby too :)**

**Okay, so I got a bunch of questions, and the only one I'm going to answer was how old are they... I believe it's from KristheFangirl...?**

**Toby- 24**

**Hanna and Spencer- 23**

**Jason- 28**

**And that's all that matters for now. :). Keep reviewing, and the next chapter will be up once I finish it!**

**As always, seriously thank you guys for your continuous support. I have a group of five or six people that literally review everything, and I love you guys to the moon and back.**

**And as always, feel free to PM me too. I have a lot of thoughts on PLL, and I'm sure if we talk long enough you'll get spoilers too. Haha I'm a very vocal writer.**

Chapter 2

SPOV

When she had first started working at the Applerose Grille the ping of rain against the tin roof had driven her mad, but now she found it strangely soothing; like the noise machine that had lulled her to sleep throughout her childhood.

"Spencer, table 4's food is done."

She shot a relieved smile at Jason in the kitchen. "Thanks. If I had to walk by that table with no food again I think he was going to throw something at me."

Jason peered through the kitchen at her grumpy, old man at table 4. "Well maybe next time Mr. Grump Ass will refrain from modifying his order a million times and confusing me."

"Well I expect you to buy me a drink later to make up for the tip that Mr. Grump Ass won't be leaving me," she laughed.

"Yeah, sure," he waved dismissively, turning back to the pan sizzling on the stove.

It had been a hard road. This wasn't the life that she was used to, but it was her new reality it she was making it work; partially because her older brother owned the most popular restaurant in town and was perfect willing to let her buy in, but also because her friends were as good as her family. That made all of the difference in the world.

"Mommy!"

Her small smile stretched out into an elated grin. She crouched down and caught her daughter's tiny body as she threw herself into her arms. "Riley! How was your day with Aunt Hanna?" Thank God for Hanna, because if she wasn't willing to help her with her daughter she had no idea where she would be right now.

"I'll tell you how it was," her best friend groaned as she slid through the door marked employees only, despite the fact that she wasn't an employee. "She wore me out. I'm ready to soak my feet and hibernate for four years. How does your little, four year old body have so much energy in it Ry?"

"Maybe the coffee you bought me, Aunt Hanna," Riley giggled and skipped around the pass to hug Jason. One of Riley's favorite things to do was throw the adults in her life under the proverbial bus. It was a bad habit that she would have to work on, but for right now it was the source of endless amusement. She highly doubted that Hanna gave her daughter coffee, but it was way too much fun watching her squirm.

Spencer turned her eyes on Hanna's guilty face. "Excuse me?"

"Oh calm down, uptight mama. It was just hot chocolate. But should you be surprised? The kid's veins are probably comprised more of caffeine than blood as it is." Hanna laughed, snagging a fry off of Mr. Grump Ass's plate. Had it been any other customer she would have reprimanded her, but she didn't particularly care about that man's plate.

"Not possible. I didn't have a single ounce of caffeine during my pregnancy, and it about killed me, as you remember I'm sure." She rolled her eyes and grabbed the plate. "I'll be right back."

She sat the cheeseless cheeseburger down in front of the man, and she was about to apologize for his wait when the door swung open. A man, drenched from the rain, walked inside and looked around from the doorway.

She walked quickly to him, not particularly wanting to clean up his muddy footsteps. "Can I help you?"

He looked up at her, and she was struck by the uncertainty that was reflected so obviously in the clear blue. "I- um I don't want to get your floors all muddy, but-"

And suddenly she felt guilty for her prior annoyance. There was something so sincere about his obvious reluctance to create more work for her that she no longer cared if she had to mop up behind him. Decent people deserved decency in return. "Don't worry about it." She grabbed a menu and led him to a nearby table. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Some coffee would be great," he said softly, his eyes lingering on the mud smears that he left behind. "I'm really sorry about that."

"I'm serious, it's not even a big deal," she smiled. "Do you know what you want or should I give you a few minutes?"

She noticed his eyes paying careful attention to the prices, and it pulled at her heartstrings a little. She didn't know what it felt like to not have money, but she knew what it felt like to be alone. But judging by the stranger's current state he couldn't have a car; he didn't even have an umbrella. Why was it always the decent people that struggled?

He looked back up at her with a bit of a smile. "Can I just have the french onion soup?"

The cheapest thing they had on the menu, of course. She nodded and walked back into the kitchen. "Jason, if you were cold and hungry and hadn't eaten in a few days what would you order from the menu?"

"Steak, salad, and a loaded baked potato," he answered promptly. "Why do you ask?"

"Make that for table 2," she replied. "And a bowl of french onion soup."

"Did someone ask you to ask me that?" He asked, confused.

She grabbed a stack of towels from the linen closet. "Nope. Just doing my daily good deed." She turned to Riley, who was sitting cross legged on the ground, eating cereal out of a mixing bowl. "Ry, come help me with these, okay?"

Riley nodded, her brown curls bouncing. "Okay, mommy!"

She handed the towels to Riley and grabbed the dry mop for herself. "Give them to the wet man by the door, okay?"

Riley nodded and skipped off. Hanna wasn't wrong, all things considered. The kid had endless energy. She took the dry mop to the door and carefully mopped up any signs of the rain and mud. She propped up a wet floor sign, just to be on the safe side, and returned the mop to its original location.

"Looks like Riley made a friend," Hanna giggled, spying through the small window in the door.

She groaned, seeing Riley perched next to the man on the booth, chattering away about something inconsequential. "I forgot her penchant for unnecessary conversation."

She walked back out. "Riley, come back and hang out with Uncle Jason, okay?"

She shook her head. "No way, I'm hanging out with Toby."

"Riley," she put a little more force behind her words, but she was honestly inclined to let her stay. It looked like he needed a little human interaction, and Riley could chatter about meaningless things with the best of them. She turned to the man, who was apparently named Toby. "Is she bothering you?"

"No," he smiled, and for the first time it actually reached his eyes. "I haven't been able to talk to anyone in awhile."

She smiled at him, and she was going to say something else, but she noticed the conspicuous empty space in front of him. She forgot his coffee. "Ry, go back and have Aunt Hanna pour Toby a cup of coffee." She saw the workings of a protest building up in her daughters face so she continued quickly. "If you do it without complaining you can also have Uncle Jason cut you a piece of the cheesecake that he just finished."

"Okay!" She squealed and jumped up, running off to the kitchen.

"Walk!" Spencer called after her. She laughed and turned back to Toby. "Are you sure she's not bothering you? She just got here, or else I would have already set her down with some crayons."

He just shook his head. "I've been on my own for awhile. And there's something about kids-" he trailed off.

"No, I get it," she smiled. "Having a kid is literally the only thing that has kept me going sometimes. Now dry yourself off." She hesitated, somehow sensing that Toby wasn't one to take a handout. "I had a customer leave, and I was going to throw out his food. But do you want it instead? It's a steak, so I can't eat it. I'm a vegetarian."

He paused. "Are you sure? I don't want you to break any rules for me."

She just laughed. "I'll bring it out in a minute. And I'm sure Hurricane Riley will be barreling out here with your coffee in a minute."

She no sooner had finished her sentence before Riley came back out, all long limbs and bouncing hair, carrying a tray. "I trained her well," Spencer laughed.

"Mommy, Aunt Hanna says that you have to hang out with Toby and me. And she said to eat the cheesecake, and that she'd play waitress for a little while." Riley plopped back down next to her and put out a piece of cheesecake for everyone.

Spencer rolled her eyes. Arguing with her best friend was like arguing with a brick wall, pointless. But if she left Hanna to serve she was probably going to accidentally burn the place down. She glanced around the dining room, and besides them the grumpy customer from before was the only person eating. Maybe she could relax for a few minutes. "Fine," she sighed, spooning out a piece of her favorite dessert. "I suppose I can hang out with you guys."

"Wow, mommy. You sound really excited," Riley deadpanned.

She was teaching her daughter to be a smart ass, and she genuinely didn't know if it were a good thing or a bad thing. "Why wouldn't I be excited," she teased, stealing a bite of Riley's cheesecake. "You're just so fun to be around, Ry."

Riley squealed in protest and stole a piece of Spencer's in retaliation. Spencer was considering shoving an ice cube down Riley's shirt when Hanna arrived with Toby's food. "Lunch for the gentleman," she sat the plate down in front of him. "Spence," Hanna turned to her, "Jason's working on spaghetti for Riley now, and he wanted me to ask if you wanted anything."

"That'd be a no. I think that the cheesecake you're forcing on me has enough calories for the rest of my life," she laughed, but it was totally true. Squats were going to be a necessity tonight.

"You didn't have to eat it," Hanna offered.

She snorted, "Yeah right."

Hanna just rolled her eyes and headed back into the kitchen. She turned to Toby again, and smiled when she saw that he was finally using the towels to dry his hair. "Where are you from?" She asked conversationally.

"Um," he hesitated. "New York."

"Oh," she paused. Why would anyone want to leave New York? "What are you doing in boring Rosewood, then?"

"Just after a new start," he said softly, staring out the window. "Things were- they were rough in New York. I'm hoping that they'll be better here."

She understood that. God, did she ever understand that. Where would she be if Hanna and Jason hadn't been willing to give her a second chance? Where would she be if her friends and her brother hadn't been there to pick up the pieces after everything fell apart. "I have an idea," she said softly, without even really thinking about it.


	3. Chapter 3

**No one judge my attempt at gangsta speak below... I'm as straight laced, white, female as they come. but it was necessary haha.**

**I'm starting to get excited for this story, so I hope you guys like it as much as I do.**

Chapter 3

TPOV

_"I have an idea."_

He frowned. He had known Spencer for about five seconds, but he already had the distinct impression that she was a do-er. She saw something that needed done and she found a way to do it. But God, after everything, he couldn't be responsible for another person getting hurt. The people closest to him- the had a tendency to suddenly become worse off than before they knew him. He didn't even know Spencer, but he knew that she deserved better.

And Riley certainly deserved better. How was it that the first person to treat him like a person in years, besides Lucas, was a little girl? A little spitfire, at that. She was probably a handful, but it was that spunk that led her to making a perfect stranger's day.

"Spencer-" he began slowly.

She just shook her head, cutting off whatever he was going to say. He didn't even know what he was going to say. He had always had trouble around attractive women, and Spencer was one of the most beautiful that he had ever seen. It wasn't just because he had just been released from prison. The way her pale cheeks were colored with just the slightest of blushes, the way her hair looked a soft as the finest silk that he could never afford, the way it curled gently to frame her thin face, her long legs that seemingly went on for miles... he could write songs about how beautiful she was. She was the kind of beautiful that people fought wars over in the ancient world. She was the kind of beautiful that he could never have. And that was okay.

Because he also quickly realized that while she played tough, Spencer was the kind of person that would give a stranger the shirt off of her back if she thought that it would help them. He would never take her charity, but God, it felt good to have someone care about him again, as superficial as it may be.

"So Jason, my older brother, and I own this place, but we also own a coffee shop down the road a little ways. It's called the Brew," she smiled at the look on his face. "Lame name, I know, but the sign was already up before I butted my way into my brother's businesses. Anyway, it has an apartment above it."

A flicker of hope flared up in his chest. For the first time maybe he didn't want to squash it down. "What are you saying, Spencer?"

She hesitated. "It's in really rough shape, but you strike me as someone good with their hands. If you were to fix it up, make it livable, I think we'd be willing to consider that your rent," she paused again, glancing over her shoulder. "Hanna, the girl that was just out here? She manages it, and she's been my best friend for basically my entire life. I'm pretty sure that I could score you an interview."

"Why would you do that for me?" He all but whispered. He wasn't used to kindness.

She looked at him speculatively. "I think you're someone who's been dealt a really shitty hand. Everyone deserves the chance to make a life for themselves."

"I was in prison," he blurted out, immediately diverting his eyes to the table. In jail he had to take on a new persona, he had to be someone tough... someone who could defend themselves, but that wasn't who he was. The fire raging somewhere around his cheek bones reminded him of his real self, the part of him that hated to disappoint anyone.

There was a long pause. When he chanced a glance up Spencer's eyes were on Riley, who was happily eating her cheesecake and playing a game on Spencer's phone; the little girl was completely oblivious to serious tone the conversation had taken on.

"Are you dangerous?" She asked him softly.

"_No,_" he implored. Because the thought of hurting anyone made him literally feel sick to his stomach, **especially **these two. Because the immeasurable sense of gratitude he was feeling wasn't something he would soon forget. "No, I swear I'm not. I just thought-"

She just nodded, glancing behind her as Hanna approached. "Han," she said as the blonde girl sat down the plate of spaghetti. "Toby's going to be your new barista."

His heart jumped. She was still going to give him a chance? "If you're okay with that?" He interjected quickly.

"Are you kidding?" Hanna laughed. "You just saved me from having to work with a gum popping, boy obsessed, teenage girl! When can you start?"

"Um, tomorrow?" He returned her laughter, feeling kind of giddy. Lucas was right, moving here was clearly the right move. Although, if he hadn't decided to stop in here it could have gone drastically different. Who knew how decent people could be?

"Mommy?" Everyone's focus was now on Riley, which she seemed to love. She sat up straighter when she realized all eyes were on her. "Can I sit at my own table like a big girl?"

Spencer nodded. "Maybe Aunt Hanna will help you with your food if you ask her really nicely."

"Ah, kid you had me the second you looked at me," she grabbed the plate and started to walk away before looking back over her shoulder at him. "Is noon okay? I won't bombard you with the early shift your first day."

"It's great," he smiled. From the outside this looked like a handout, but it wasn't. He wouldn't take advantage of their kindness. He'd be the hardest working employee they had ever had. He'd earn his spot, and then he wouldn't feel like a loser any longer.

Hanna lead Riley to the table across the aisle, and once Spencer saw that she was settled she trained her eyes back on him. "I can take you to the apartment, if you want? It's really more of a loft than anything."

"Are you not going to ask me what I did?" He didn't welcome rehashing that time of his life, but he would give her the abridged version if need be. He would want to know if he were in her shoes.

But she surprised him again by simply shaking her head no. "It's none of my business. We all have demons in our past, Toby. When I was 18 some stuff happened to me, and it sent me spiraling down a path of literal constant bad choices. I very easily could have ended up in jail or worse. But somehow Jason found it in himself to give me a chance, to let me crawl out of the hole and make something of myself. And I will never be able to thank him enough for that. You don't owe me an explanation, and I think that you deserve a chance to prove yourself."

If she kept talking he was going to cry. He really was. It wasn't as though he was thrilled about accepting help, because he wasn't. He was proud, and he spent most of his life fighting to get everything he had on his own. But what was getting to him was that she saw him as someone worth helping, and that meant everything in the world. Most of his life people only saw the worst in him, and he shaped his personality to fit their expectations. But this girl, with literally no effort at all, was tearing down his walls and seeing the real him. "How do you know I'm not lying to you?" He tried, quietly.

She tilted her head to the side, a small smile playing on her lips. "Well, besides the fact that you probably wouldn't have offered up the prison thing if I had anything to worry about, you have a way of speaking, Toby- I don't know, but when you say something I just believe you."

He nodded. He had heard that before, and it used to annoy him. But from Spencer it made him feel good. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Everyone deserves a second chance," she reiterated. "Let me go grab the apartment keys off of Jason and see if Hanna can hold onto Riley for a bit longer. You finish eating."

He nodded and took another bite of his steak, letting his mind wonder to the last time that he had something so good.

_"Yo C, you want some grub?"_

_He looked up from the magazine he was flipping through and spied Lucas and Holden in the kitchen. Maia was frantically cooking steaks on the stove top. "Why are we eating steak?" He asked slowly. They were usually cheap beer and hot dog kind of guys._

_"He's coming," Maia said quietly, checking on the baked potatoes in the oven. "And you know that he expects dinner."_

_He glanced between Lucas and Maia for a second before gently nudging her away from the stove. "I got the meat, Maia. You go put together a salad, okay?" He squeezed her had as he took the spatula from her. He really wished that he had the power to change things, because the way the women were treated was outrageous. He hated it when men disrespected girls._

It was probably the most tense meal that he had ever eaten, but it was delicious; and it was one of the last good meals he had before it happened, and he was condemned to five years of prison food.

Spencer came back a few minutes later, shiny keys dangling from her fingers. "Hanna's boyfriend, Caleb is going to come with us, if you don't mind? He's doing that macho thing where he wants to make sure you aren't dangerous."

He smiled. "Isn't that big brother's job?"

She rolled her eyes. "Men are sexist pigs, you know that? But Jason would be coming if he didn't have a big carryout order to get ready. Caleb just lives across the street, so he should be..." she trailed off as a dark haired guy strode inside, "here." Her eyes glanced down at his mostly empty plate. "Did you get enough food?"

He nodded, bobbing his head up and down a single time. "Thank you," he said softly again, suddenly feeling insecure with Caleb's arrival. He suddenly felt like he was under a microscope.

Caleb was at Spencer's side in a second, thrusting his hand out. "Caleb Rivers," he said in a voice that was neither friendly nor hostile. It was perfectly balanced. He was kind of impressed.

"Toby Cavanaugh," he said softly, shaking his hand firmly. He hadn't learned much from his father, but what he did learn was that there was power in a handshake.

"Okay," Spencer rolled her eyes. "Enough of this." She peered out the window. "Caleb did it stop raining?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "It's a muggy, hot mess out there now, but no rain."

"Let's walk then," she decided.

"Spencer," Caleb whined.

"Oh no," she laughed, pulling the door open. "You're the one gate crashing. You don't get to determine the logistics." She grabbed an umbrella from behind the hostess stand and led the way out the door.

When he got into town the downpour made it difficult to see much, but now that he had a chance to admire the main street he liked what he saw. The wide road was set with historic buildings and quaint looking shops on either side. Kids road their bikes down the sidewalks and couples sat on the sporadically placed white benches in the green spaces. It was beautiful, and it was just so different from what he was used to.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at their location. "This is the Brew," Spencer smiled. "I'll show you the downstairs in a minute, but let me show you the upstairs mess first. I promise I won't be offended if you don't want to take this on."

He couldn't imagine finding anything in there that would change his mind, but as she swung the door open he wasn't expecting much. And the place was in rough shape, that much was obvious. But what was more obvious was the potential. The loft had the potential to be great. And maybe it had the potential to be home.


	4. Chapter 4

**This is shorter, and literally the only purpose is to give you some background to Spencer. The next chapter is from Toby's POV, and there's a few day time jump. Just so you know what's coming. I want to update Falling to Pieces first, but this will be after that :)**

**Happy PLL day, friends! Let me know what you thought of the episode!**

Chapter 4

SPOV

She leaned against the brick wall, completely unable to stop the smile that was playing at her lips. He looked so excited, and it was literally the most adorable thing that she had ever seen. "You like it then?"

His smile lit up his eyes, bringing some kind of life back into them. This was a man who had taken a figurative, and maybe literal, beating. But maybe she could help him out. If Jason hadn't agreed to help her... if Hanna hadn't forgiven her... she'd be no where. Hell, she'd probably be dead.

Maybe she was being too trusting, but she could see the goodness in him. It was as obvious as anything. And maybe she saw a little bit of herself in him, the girl who was so fiercely independent... who got herself in way over her head way to fast. The girl who didn't know how to ask for help even though she needed it more than she ever had. And she owed it to that girl to help someone else in the same situation. She owed it to that girl to be the person that she had needed back then.

_She was so cold. The wind whipped around her, blowing her damp hair around her face. Maybe she had never been this cold before. She huddled until the porch roof for awhile before knocking. Even if he sent her away, even if he told her that he never wanted to see her again, at least she could be out of the rain for a minute._

_What was the point? What was the point in getting warm just so the cold could be all the more shocking the second she stepped back out into the downpour. What was the point in living anymore, really? She was worthless. Every minute of the last two years had proven that to her. She was pathetic, and no one was going to help her. She didn't deserve it._

_She knew she couldn't stay here forever. Eventually he would come out or a neighbor would notice her presence on his porch. She took a deep breath and mustered all of the courage and self preservation that she had left and knocked quietly on the door. Maybe he wouldn't be home. Maybe she wouldn't have to further humiliate herself by letting him see her like this._

_But as per usual, her luck was non existent. She could hear his footsteps the second she removed her fist from the door. And for a second she thought about running, but what was the point? She didn't have the energy to get too far. He'd see her._

**_He'd see her. _**_He'd see her like this; sickly pale, too thin, dirty... he'd see her like she never wanted him to see her. She was supposed to be stronger than this. And before she even consciously made the decision she stepped off the porch and back into the rain, the icy water acting like a shock to her system._

_"Spencer?"_

_She kept walking. Maybe she should run, but it was a struggle to even put one foot in front of the other. When was the last time she had eaten anything?_

_"Spencer, stop."_

_She tried to keep walking, but his hands were on her arms, turning her, holding her up. "Oh Spencer," her brother whispered. "What have you done to yourself?"_

_A single tear trailed down her cheek. "Jason, I'm pregnant."_

"I love it," he said softly, bringing her back from a time she'd much rather keep behind her. "Do you mind..." he trailed off, gesturing to the hallway.

She grinned. "No, go for it. We'll wait here."

He nodded and turned, walking down that hall with the tips of his fingers grazing the brick. As soon as he was out of sight Caleb rounded on her. "What the hell are you thinking, Spencer?"

His hostility didn't damper her smile. "I'm thinking that he's where I was not even five years ago, Caleb. If I can help him I'm going to. You're the best judge of character I know. Tell me you think he's dangerous," she said softly, not wanting Toby to overhear.

Caleb faltered. "No, I don't think he's dangerous. But you don't know what kind of people he associates with," Caleb insisted. "It isn't safe."

"I'm not going to refuse someone help because they've pick up a shitty friend or two along the way," she bit back. "Listen, I appreciate your concern, but you aren't going to change my mind."

He stopped whatever reply he was going to say when Toby walked back into the room. "It's great, but are you sure?"

She nodded. "We were going to put it on Craigslist anyway, this does us all a favor. Because you strike me as being far less creepy than the average internet tenant."

"I-"

She cut off what was sure to be a thankful rant with a jerk of her head. She already recognized that gleam in his eyes. "Come on. Let me introduce you downstairs."

He followed her down the interior stairs wordlessly. Caleb put a hand on her arm. "I'm going to bow out, if you don't mind," he gave her a look that suggested he'd really stay if she wanted him to. "I owe Maya $50, and I don't have it. You know how she gets," he laughed, glancing at Toby warily.

"Get out of here," she waved him off. "I'll be sure to let her know I haven't seen you."

He nodded, gave Toby a tight smile, and walked back upstairs to go out the back exit. Toby waited until Caleb was gone before speaking. "He doesn't like me."

"No," she disagreed. "I actually think you and Caleb will get along great. It's just that he's naturally suspicious. He didn't have the best childhood."

Toby grabbed her arm suddenly, pulling her to a stop before they left the stairwell. For a second she was nervous, but that was before she registered the gentleness of his hands. "I just- Spencer you're doing so much for me, and I need to explain."

She shook her head. "No you don't."

He looked up at her, fear obvious in the blue that she felt far too familiar with. She barely even knew him. "It's really bad," he whispered. "I- it's just bad, Spencer."

She told Caleb that he was the best judge of character she knew, and maybe that was true. But she wasn't bad herself. She knew when she was being lied to more often than not. "Listen, if you want to talk about it I'm here, okay? I know how important that is to any kind of recovery. But if not then it really isn't my businesses. If I thought you were dangerous I wouldn't have let Caleb leave, and I certainly wouldn't have let you anywhere near my daughter."

"I'm _not _dangerous," he said in a low, earnest voice. "I would never hurt anyone, but- I can't say the same about the people I left behind in New York. If they find me..." he trailed off.

She hadn't given that a lot of thought, but it made sense. And Riley- God, she had put her daughter through enough in her life already. "Is that likely?" She matched his quiet tone.

"I don't know," he continued on, desperately. "I had my cousin take me to the train station the second I was released. I went to Philly before I came here throw off any trail, but I just don't know. I want to think they'd let me go, but-"

"We're dealing with a lot of what ifs, Toby," she said softly, putting a hand on his arm. "Take it day by day. If things get bad I have a lake house that Riley and I can go to. But I'm not going to let you wonder around the streets because of a what if. You have obviously been dealt a really shitty hand; just let me help you."

He hesitated for a long moment. She could see further protests building up in his eyes, but in the end he just nodded.

She smiled. "Good. Now let's go get some coffee and talk to Emily and Maya. It's been about an hour since I've had a cup, which means that I'm long overdo."


	5. Chapter 5

**SO, I think I'm going to change this to M later, fyi. If you're sensitive to stuff like that.**

**Also, you get a pretty good idea of what Spencer went through in this chapter, but I'll continue to fill in the blanks over the course of the story :)**

**PLEASE review. They really make my day.**

Chapter 5

SPOV

She pushed two pieces of bread into the toaster and turned to the fridge, taking out the gallon of milk.

"Mommy?"

She turned, forcing a smile on her sleep deprived face. Riley stood in the doorway of the kitchen with her bleary eyes and mismatched socks. Her OCD side cringed at the socks, but she let it go. For dressing herself she had done a fairly good job. "Hey, baby. I'm making you some breakfast and then we're going to go meet your dad, okay?"

Riley shook her head with tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't want to go, Mommy."

Nothing broke her heart more than Riley's pleas to avoid her father. If only she knew how hard Spencer fought to ensure that she never had too, and how much of a failure she felt when she found she could do nothing about it. He had far too much influence for someone so corrupt.

_"I won't let you hurt her!" She insisted, thinking of the baby she had left behind with her brother. "You've done more than enough damage by donating your sperm."_

_"Oh Spencer," he smirked. "You haven't seen anything yet. You're going to let me see her or I'll take you to court. You know what I know about you. I'll make sure you never see her. All I'm asking for is a monthly visit. I'll even pay child support."_

_"I don't need your money," she bit back._

_"No," he agreed. "But what you need is to agree to this. Because I'm not asking. You know I can get us in front of a judge in a matter of a week, and you know what I have on you. You'll never win. I'll take her from you."_

_"Why do you even want to see her?" She asked desperately._

_"That's none of your concern."_

He was right, of course. He had the entirety of the Rosewood judicial system in his back pocket. And this occasional separation was much better than the looming threat of something much more permanent. She knelt down, and Riley didn't hesitate before throwing herself into her outstretched arms. "You know how much I love you, right?"

"To the moon?" She whispered into her neck.

Spencer smiled through the sadness. "Farther than that."

"The sun?" Riley tried. "Mommy, that's 93 million miles so it's kind of a really long way."

She laughed. She was raising a nerd. "I love you more than anything, Ry. You can't even measure it, okay?" She pulled away and took her daughter's face, the face that looked so like her own had at that age, and gently kissed her forehead. "You still have the phone I gave you?" She asked. She never thought she'd be the kind of person that gave a four year old a cell phone, but it was a necessary evil.

Riley nodded. "It's in my pink bag in my room."

"Make sure you bring it with you, and if he does anything to make you sad or scared I want you to call me, okay? I promise I won't let him hurt you, baby. Do you believe me?" She needed to see that Riley trusted her before she let her go anywhere. And God, she meant what she said. She would find a way to end him if he hurt her daughter.

Riley nodded. "He's not really scary. He's just mean."

"Mean how?" If she hadn't already deeply regretted her past this alone would have been enough to do it.

She just frowned. "I don't think he likes me."

"Oh baby," she tightened her hug, "I'm sure he loves you. He's just not very good at showing it." She caught sight of the clock over Riley's shoulder. "You got your heart set on milk, kid?"

"Yuck," she laughed just like Spencer knew she would. Riley hated milk, so she would take every opportunity not to drink it.

So she pulled away and made a quick breakfast sandwich out of the bacon, eggs, and toast. She wrapped it up in a napkin and handed it to Riley, who had just returned with the bag. "You have the phone?"

"Yes, mommy," she sighed dramatically.

Spencer's lips twitched. What was this little monster going to be like as a teenager? "Then let's get going." She took Riley's hand and led her outside. It might seem stupid, but she was not going to give that man access to her house. She didn't care if she was in front of him the entire time. He wouldn't be coming inside.

They walked down the street and into the Brew. A quick glance around the room told her that he wasn't here yet so she sat Riley down at a booth and went to the counter.

"Spencer!" Maya's enthusiastic voice caused a small smile to appear on her face. There was something about Maya that was hard to be sad around. "Waiting for the assface?"

She nodded heavily. "I wish I could just run away with her sometimes."

Maya started to make her's and Riley's usual order. "Let's do it! We can leave Cavanaugh over there to run the place," she gestured to Toby with her head, who was making some kind of frozen drink. "The kid's a natural. He was born to make coffee. So where are we running to?"

"Northern California," she decided. "We'll build a tree house and eat nothing but pizza that won't make us fat."

"Sounds like my dream," Maya laughed and passed her two drinks. "Hot chocolate for the short one and a swimming pool of black coffee for you." She paused. "But seriously Spence, if you need any help just let me know, okay?"

She nodded. She'd probably be fine, she had been dealing with him for a long time. But that experience was what terrified her when it came to leaving Riley with him. She grabbed their drinks and walked back to the booth, sitting the hot chocolate in front of Riley. "Drink fast, sweetheart. He should be here any minute."

"Do I have to go, Mommy?" She asked quietly. She kept her eyes on the table as she took a big drink of the hot chocolate.

"Listen, baby," she grabbed Riley's free hand. "I- There's nothing that I can do about it right now without risking more than I'm willing to lose. You understand that, right?"

She nodded, taking another drink. "But-"

"I'll make it okay for you, Ry. I promise." She refused to let her mistakes dictate her daughter's life.

Riley opened her mouth to say something, but she immediately snapped it shut. The way her shoulders tensed told Spencer everything that she needed to know. She slid out of the booth and stood up, blocking his path. She put a hand on his chest and took a few steps back, out of Riley's hearing range. He leered down at her like he always did, making her uncomfortable. But letting him see her unease was like letting a shark smell blood. He smirked and put a hand on her arm. "Hey Spencer."

She jerked away from him, but still stood in his path. She was going to talk to him before she gave him a chance to talk to Riley. "Darren. We need to talk."

His eyes went cold. "What about?"

"I don't like the way you're treating her," she said softly, not wanting to attract attention and not wanting Riley to hear. "I don't know how you want to be a part of her life to begin with, but you are. You need to treat her like she's your daughter. Don't just stick her in a room while you drink beer with your buddies."

His fingers curled around her wrist, tightening to the point that it was almost painful. But she didn't wince because she didn't want anyone to think that she needed help. "I think you need to remember your place, Spencer."

When Darren Wilden came around she found it so much harder to push down the past that always followed her around like a shadow. Most of the time she could pretend that it wasn't there, but when he was with her it all came rushing back like a smack to the face.

_She grabbed her duffle bag and flung it over her shoulder, hurrying down the path before anyone else could notice that she was gone._

_"Spencer!"_

_Shit. **Shit. **She tightened her grip on her bag and took off at a run. If she caught her she'd never find it in herself to leave. But what good was she doing here anymore? She only caused the people that she loved pain._

_Large hands caught her, and when she saw that it was Darren she relaxed. Not because she felt safe with him, far from it. But because she knew that Hanna wouldn't do anything stupid in front of a cop._

_God, she wished that she could stop. She wished that she could just stay with Hanna and Jason and Em and just be happy, but she couldn't anymore. She **needed **it, and Darren was the only one who could get it for her._

_His hand tightened around her arm in warning. There would probably be bruises in the morning, but it was effective. She kept her mouth shut. She couldn't see his face but she was sure that Darren had plastered on his charming cop smile. "Everything's fine. Spencer's just going to hang out with me for a little while."_

_Hanna's face hardened. "Spencer, I swear to God if you get in the car with him don't bother coming back."_

_"Hanna-" she whispered, her voice breaking. Darren's fingers dug into her skin, but she couldn't even feel them over the pain of her shattering heart. Had even Hanna given up on her now?_

_"I'm not kidding Spencer. I love you. You're my best friend, and you always will be. But I'm not going to support you while you throw your life away. Either get in the car with him or come back home with me. You need to make your choice."_

_Darren started walking, dragging her along behind him. He opened the passenger side door and all but threw her inside, locking it behind her. She twisted and put a hand on the window. The tears streaming down her cheeks were reflected on Hanna's own face. So this is what it felt like to reach rock bottom._

_Darren climbed in the driver's side and flipped off the police radio on the dash. His fingers creeped up her thigh as he reached around her into the glove box and pulled out a bag of pills. "Where do you want to go?"_

_"Your place I guess," she mumbled, all the life gone out of her voice. She ripped open the bag and swallowed two of the pills, relaxing as soon as they passed through her lips. Everything with Hanna seemed to matter less. She didn't need friends. She didn't need family. She just needed the pills._

Spencer just shook her head. She wasn't that girl anymore. She wasn't in a cramped car with him, and she didn't crave the pills with the same intensity that she used too. Once a drug addict always a drug addict, she learned that in therapy. But she knew she was strong enough to take care of herself, to take care of _Riley. _"I'll tell you what my place is," she said firmly. "My place is to take care of that little girl. So what you're going to do is you're going to let go of me, **right now. **And then you're going to take her, and you're going to do something to make her happy tonight. And then you're going to bring her back to me in one piece, first thing in the morning."

Darren's serious face gave way to another smirk. "You're kind of hot when you're all fired up, Hastings."

"Is everything okay over here?"

She really didn't know what it was about Toby's voice that made all the latent fear leave her body, but as soon as he spoke she relaxed. The underlying threat was obvious in his words, and clearly Darren heard them too. He looked at Spencer curiously before shaking his head in Toby's direction. "Nah, everything's fine man." He raised his voice. "Come on Riley."

Spencer kept her eyes on Darren, but when she felt Riley's hand in hers she melted, crouching down to her level, taking her into her arms. "It's just one night, baby. Everything will be fine."

"I know," she mumbled into Spencer's neck. "But I don't like it."

She laughed, pulling away and smoothing down Riley's hair. "I don't either. But you'll be back in the morning and we'll go do something fun, okay?"

Riley nodded and took a deep breath, walking toward her dad. Darren shot her one last smirk before taking Riley's hand and leading her out of the Brew, taking Spencer's heart with them.

As soon as they were out of sight she stood up and sat back down in her booth, hiding her face in her hands. This never got any easier.

"Who was that?" Toby asked quietly, taking Riley's vacated spot.

She lifted her face and shot a weary smile at him. "Riley's father. Thanks for stepping in, by the way. He doesn't seemed to remember that he can't treat me like he used to."

"I don't like it when guys are disrespectful," he said softly, his eyes flashing.

She wondered if there was a story there, but she didn't know him well enough to ask. She was going to say something inconsequential, but he beat her to the reply. "I- so, forgive me if it's not my place," he began slowly, "but you look sad. I just got off, and I was thinking about going on a hike. It always makes me feel better, and-" he paused, "If I'm being completely honest, it's been awhile since I've been able to spend a lot of time outside. Would you want to come with me?"

What was it about this stranger that made her trust him so implicitly? She nodded. "And unless you had somewhere specific in mind, I know the perfect spot."


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the delay. If I'm being honest, I'm just feeling really disappointed by everything on this site right now. My reviews and even the readers per chapter have dropped horrendously lately, and I'm considering putting all my stories on hiatus until the SHOW is back on hiatus. Because that's the only correlation I'm seeing.**

**Anyway, hope you guys like this. They Take Their Shots will be up soon regardless of what I decide.**

Chapter 6

TPOV

He had never appreciated the sun until now. But as she drove them down the tree lined, gently sloping, logging road the sun warming his face was almost awe inspiring, in a way. He still couldn't fully comprehend that after five years of being told when he was able to use the restroom he was free to do this. He was free to do whatever he wanted, really.

"Tell me about yourself," Spencer asked softly, turning the music down so that it was just background noise.

He watched her fingers loosen and tightened around the steering wheel as she held it steady through the bumps and turns. It was strange really, how small she was. Because everything that she did was so much bigger than her physical stature. The way she defended Riley, the way she looked after each of her friends and her customers, the way she helped a perfect stranger get on his own two feet... it was all so big, so wonderful. He had never met someone like her before.

He smiled at her. His hand scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not that interesting."

"I don't accept that," she said as she pulled her car into a hidden lot. "I actually think you come across as one of the most interesting people that I've ever met."

Once the car had stopped he jumped out of his door and strode around the car, just in time to snag the door to the driver's side. She laughed and let him help her out of the car. "A gentleman too. Where did you grow up?"

"In New York," he said quietly. "Smack dab in the middle of the city."

"Really? I'm Rosewood born and raised." She ducked through the overgrown entrance to the trail.

He temporarily lost sight of her, until he followed after her into the unknown. To the left of the trail was a thick line of trees, and to the right was a chest high guard rail, protecting those who walked along the precarious path. But what caught his eye was the panoramic view of the sloping hills that characterized much of Pennsylvania. He had gotten a taste of them as he chugged through the country side on his train, but it had been nighttime. He had honestly never seen so much sky.

"You okay?" Spencer asked him softly, a hand on his arm.

He tensed for a second. unused to any physical contact. But it only took him a second to relax. He never trusted people, but there was something about this girl that made him trust her implicitly. It wasn't something that came easily to him. He just nodded and started to walk. "I actually haven't been this okay in a long time."

_He sat at the table, the hard chair digging into his spine. But it didn't really matter. It was wonderful being on his own occasionally. It didn't really happen in this house very often. He cracked open the worn cover of the copy of The Great Gatsby that he had checked out from the library. He began to read, but he didn't really get that far before the back door flew open and angry voices invaded his solitude._

_"I don't want to!"_

_If it had been anyone but Lucas he'd have ignored it. But he couldn't let his cousin be upset. He had never been able to do that. He stood up and walked into the kitchen where Lucas was cringing away from an angry looking Holden. Holden shoved his shoulder. "You don't have a choice. It's time you've proved yourself, and I'm not going to get in trouble because I didn't bring your ass."_

_Toby butted in between the two of them and shoved Holden away. "Leave him alone, Holden."_

_Holden snorted. "Aw, Lucas. Did daddy have to come save you?"_

_Toby rolled his eyes. These Neanderthals had fantastic insults. "Let him go. I'll take care of whatever he needed to do."_

_Holden paused. "I guess you're better anyway. Come on."_

It was funny how mundane the events that lead up to the moment that ruined his life were. Reading a book, protecting Lucas, trying to find alone time... he had spent his whole life doing those things. You would have thought that the days leading up to something so cataclysmic would have given some indication as to what was to come.

"Okay, twenty questions," Spencer said, ignoring his emotional response. He appreciated it, because no matter how willing he was to tell her his story he maybe wasn't completely ready for it. "Would you rather sweat gravy or cry hot sauce?"

He let out a peal of laughter. "What?"

She laughed with him. "Riley insisted on playing the game with Hanna and me the other day and that's what she asked us. It was very telling."

"Well," he thought about it. "I mean I guess I'd rather cry hot sauce. I don't cry all that often."

"Yeah, but it'd be like searing pain in your eyeballs. You can avoid sweat sometimes."

He had genuinely never had such a ridiculous conversation before. "You're cute," he laughed and immediately blushed as soon as they words left his mouth. "I mean, not like that. Not, like physically." He cringed, he was making it so much worse. "I mean you _are _cute. Just-"

"Toby," she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the rocks. "Climb with me? Riley's a chicken and never wants to, but I used to love doing this."

He was pretty sure she was just trying to change the subject to save him the embarrassment, but he appreciated it all the same. The rocks looked kind of precarious, but he wasn't going to say no. He had never had a friend quite like her, and he wasn't going to do anything to risk it. "If I fall and die I expect a piggy back ride to the hospital."

"Deal," she darted off in front of him and kicked off her flip flops. For a second he felt a twinge of worry at her position of steadily increased height, but it only lasted a second before he longed to join her. To be free.

_He bit down hard on his lower lip as he shoved past a huge inmate into his cell. He hated it. He hated being this person, but it was a necessary evil as long as he was locked away in this place. He couldn't show them anything that they would perceive as weakness. He had to keep his true self hidden away._

_He flopped down on the bottom bunk and covered his eyes with a heavy arm. He couldn't deal with this for too much longer. Too bad he had at least five years to go._

_"Why the long face?"_

_He jumped, having not noticed another presence in his room. "Wouldn't it be more strange if I were smiling?" He questioned the new addition to his room._

_The other guy shrugged. "I suppose. Ezra Fitz, I slept with one of my students."_

_What a way to introduce yourself. But he supposed it was as good an identifier as any in this place. "Toby Cavanaugh."_

_"What'd you do to earn a room at this fine establishment?" Ezra asked him sarcastically._

_Murder, he thought in his head. But he didn't want to say it outloud. There was no reason to make his roommate scared of him._

For so long all he knew was the inside of his jail cell. He dreamed of the sun, of having meaningless adventures with decent people. But this wasn't meaningless at all. It was a figurative rebirth of sorts. He was like the pheonix, coming out of the ashes of his ruined life. How long had it been since he had been able to enjoy something so meaningless? How long had it been since he had been able to be so care free? Honestly, had he ever been able to experience something like this?

And it was all thanks to her. He climbed to the top of the rock pile, their legs freely dangling into the open air. He felt nervous, but he was _free. _He could do whatever he wanted to do now. He wasn't bound by his stint in prison... he wasn't forced into looking after his cousin... he didn't feel obligated to protect the smaller, weaker people in his life... he didn't have _him _looking over his shoulder. He was free.

He was free and it was because she decided that he was worth a chance, and that wasn't something that he would soon forget. "Spencer," he whispered, not quite sure how to best express the gratitude he was feeling as he sat next to her, staring out at the most beautiful scenery that he had ever seen. "Thank you." It was simple, but he didn't know how to articulate what he was feeling.

She nudged him with her shoulder, and he was sure she was smiling even though he couldn't see her face. "Thank _you._" She grabbed a hand full of grass from between one of the rocks and tossed it in his face. "But don't thank me too much, because I'm kind of a giant kid most of the time."

That was exactly what he was thanking her for. He was thanking her for being the kind of person that took his mind off all the shit he had experienced thus far, for being the kind of person who could all but see inside of someone's soul... seeing the good in them despite what the rest of the world saw. She was exactly what he needed in his life right now, and he wasn't sure that he'd ever be able to thank her enough for being what he needed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Just review, you beautiful animals. Because you are 100 points wonderful :)**

Chapter 7

SPOV

In the two weeks that had passed since their day on the trails Toby had quickly gone from stranger to one of her best friends. In reality she had known him for less than a month, but it felt like she had known him forever.

And as she watched him walk ahead of her, hand in hand with her daughter, she felt content. It wasn't lost on her how significant it was that she trusted him with her. Her tumultuous past left her with a deep sense of mistrust. There were very few people that she trusted with herself, let alone with Riley. And her tenacity and protective nature left her hell bent on ensuring that Riley didn't suffer through the same mistakes that she did. Part of that was making sure that she had the right people in her life.

And somehow she was absolutely certain that included Toby. And maybe Toby needed them a little bit too. She saw it in the way that he both craved and shied away from physical touch, like no one had ever given him a hug before. She saw it in the way he looked at her with such gratitude in his eyes, like no one had ever treated him like he was worth anything before. He was her friend, and if she could do anything to help him she would do it.

"Mommy look! Toby's wearing my backpack!"

Her lips twitched, and she fought to keep the smile off of her lips. He looked ridiculous with a tiny, Frozen backpack on his back, but she certainly wasn't going to say anything. Not when Riley had that kind of smile on her face. "You can carry your own backpack, Ry," she chastised lightly. She wasn't raising a damsel in distress.

"He offered though," she protested, darting ahead of them. "We're almost there!"

There was no use fighting with her about it. Not when she was so wound up. But honestly, she didn't blame her. This was always one of her favorite summer day activities, and apparently she had passed that gene onto her daughter. "Have you ever done anything like this before, Toby?"

He laughed. "Not a lot of lakes in the middle of the city." He held a branch back for her and Riley before following after them onto the sandy shore. "This is beautiful."

"Did you never leave home, Toby?" Riley took his hand and dragged him to her favorite spot. She knew exactly where she was heading, because she picked it every time.

For someone with such short legs she could seriously move. She struggled to keep up with them, weighed down with the blanket and a heavy cooler. Toby had tried to take it from her but she had told him to shove his macho pride up his ass. She was perfectly capable of carrying a cooler. Honestly, she had almost given in and let him carry it when he looked at her like she stomped on his puppy. He was a little bit adorable.

Riley plopped down on the grass, as usual letting the adults do the work. Toby took the blanket from her and carefully smoothed it over the rough sand. Once he was settled onto the blanket next to Riley he answered. "I guess I wasn't as lucky as you were, Riley. My mom and dad didn't have a lot of money, and the part of the city I lived in wasn't exactly the safest. I spent a lot of time playing inside with my cousin, Lucas."

"Oh," she paused, reaching over to grab a juice box from the cooler that Spencer had just sat down. "Where is he at?"

"He's still in New York," Toby said softly, some kind of unreachable emotion in his voice.

"Okay, Ry," Spencer sat down on her other side. "It's time to go play."

"Okay!" She laughed, skipping down the sand and jumping into the water.

She used to feel uncomfortable leaving Riley alone in the water, but the kid was a fish. She leaned back against the cooler and turned to Toby. "Are you alright?"

"Just thinking about things," he said softly.

Maybe she shouldn't push him, but she had never been very good at backing off. "About what?"

He smiled at her, but it was a sad kind of smile. She didn't like it, because she was sure that he hadn't had as many happy days as he deserved. She was such a reserved person, so it was shocking her that she was so intent upon making things okay for this boy. He nudged her with his shoulder. "I guess I'm just worried about my cousin and my nieces."

"Is it really that dangerous there?" She asked him hesitantly. She didn't want to open up a barrel full of bad memories, but she wanted to get a picture of his life before he came to Rosewood.

He paused. "We were involved with some rough stuff. It wasn't who either of us were, but it was necessary for our survival. And it was something that- that might come back to haunt him, especially now that I'm not there to protect him. I owe him everything for helping me get out, but I'm scared that he condemned himself in the process.'

"I get that," she said softly. There was something about Toby that made her relive her past. It didn't bother her too much because she was never going back there again. But it wasn't exactly pleasant either.

_She followed behind Darren and Mona, her eyes trained on the ground. She wasn't jealous. Jenna could have all of his focus if she wanted as long as he still provided her with the pills. _

_She looked down at her shaking hands, the bones sharply sticking out. She hadn't looked at herself in the mirror in a long time. She was intelligent enough to realize what she was doing to herself, but she just didn't have what it took to stop. She was already in too deep. She didn't deserve to get better.  
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_"Spencer, we're going to go get some wine. Wait out here." Without waiting for an answer Darren and Jenna ducked into the liquor store they passed by on their walk back to the house._

_It didn't bother her. She really didn't want to be around them. She just wanted to be alone. She wanted to curl up in a ball and cry over the tattered remains of her ruined life. How did she get here? And how did she become the kind of person that didn't want to fix it? Because she needed the pills, she **needed **them. And Darren got them to her. Did it really matter if she was miserable in the process as long as she got what she needed?_

_She was stronger than this, she **knew **that she was stronger than this. The tiny part of her that was still her was screaming at her for stay, was screaming at her for ignoring her health and for throwing away the most important relationships in her life. She hated herself. Maybe she should just end it all. She could get a hold of one of the guns, she was sure. There wasn't anything to live for anymore. A shaky hand brushed over her stomach. Everyone would be so much better off without her, especially-_

_"Spencer?"_

_Her body jerked at the unexpected voice. She wrapped her dirty, oversized jacket around her shaking body and looked at Hanna's three inch heels. At least that hadn't changed. "Hi," she whispered, not knowing what else to say._

_"Oh God, Spence. What happened to you?"_

_What was she supposed to say? Because if she even began to describe what she had been through over the past few weeks Hanna wouldn't let her go back with Darren. She wouldn't let it continue, and she was certain if her best friend even showed her a little affection she wouldn't be able to convince herself to leave._

_Hanna reached out and touched the side of her face, tilting Spencer's face into the light. "Did he hit you?" She sounded appalled._

_She snorted. If only that was all he did to her. "You need to go, Hanna." It wasn't for Spencer's sake that she needed to go. She was already broken, there wasn't anything else that could be done to her to make it worse. But threatening her friends and family was how Darren kept Spencer in line. He had the resources to frame Hanna for any number of crimes, and she couldn't let that happen. Even if it was the last thing she did she would protect her friend from any pain._

_Hanna just shook her head and pulled Spencer into her arms. For a second Spencer was tense, but after a long minute she relaxed into the familiar brace. "Hanna," she whimpered into her neck._

_She pulled away, the blue glinting with unshed tears. "You need to get yourself out of this, Spencer." She glanced over her shoulder and reached into her pocket, pulling out a wad of money. "This is all I have. Take it, and figure something out. You can come back to me if you need to, but only if you're done with the drugs. I love you, Spence. You have to figure this out."_

_"Go," she whispered again, her voice cracking through the tears. "You have to go."_

_Hanna nodded. "Don't let him hurt you again, Spencer. You need to get out." She looked into her eyes for another second before turning and walking away._

_As soon as she was out of sight Spencer slid down the wall and wrapped both arms around her stomach. Maybe Hanna was right. Maybe she did need to get out, but not for herself. She didn't deserve that. But- she looked down at her stomach. Maybe she actually **did **have something to live for._

Toby's eyes were full of hope, but he hesitated before answered. "Could they trace a burner phone?"

She shook her head. "Nope, that's why Homeland Security wants those things banned. For terrorist reasons."

"I-" he paused again. "I don't think I have enough money left though. Maybe when I get paid again, I can-"

Her snort cut him off. "I can loan you $30, Toby."

He shook his head. "You've already done enough. Seriously, I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't come across you."

He didn't need to thank her for that, and maybe he'd realize it some day. "I have more money than I need. Let me spend it on something worthwhile."

"Maybe-" he looked out at the water thoughtfully. "but I think that I should wait until I talk to Dr. Sullivan first. I have my first meeting with her tomorrow."

"Dr. Ann Sullivan?" She rose her eyebrows. Well that was a hell of a coincidence.

He nodded. "It's part of my parole. I have to meet with a psychiatrist."

She laughed. "Dr. Sullivan has been my therapist for years. She's amazing."

"Really?" He smiled. "I think the more that we talk the more connected we are."

She had officially reached her limit of serious talk for one day. She stood up and reached a hand down for him. "Come on. Let's swim!"

He laughed and took her hand but pulled himself up. "I don't even know how to."

Was there no end to the stuff that he'd say to break her heart? "Well then don't go over your head!" She pulled off her cover up, revealing her modest, black bikini. "Come on!"

He pulled his shirt off and suddenly pushed past her, stumbling into the water. She laughed and ran after him. She splashed him with both hands before gliding past him, wrapping her arms around Riley, and tossing her into the water. She laughed as she popped up, sputtering a few feet away. "Mom!"

She laughed harder, sending a wave of water in her daughter's direction, sending the opening fire in what turned out to be a really satisfying splash war. Maybe things weren't perfect all the time, but right now they were about as close to perfect as they got. And that was all that mattered.

?POV

He pulled the black hood up over his head and peered into an apartment window in the building across the street. Lucas looked different now, less sniveling loser and more responsible adult. But he was still Lucas at heart. And he still knew how to break him.

And break him he would, because he was the only one who knew where Cavanaugh went. The only person standing between him and the revenge he craved was Lucas.


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't know why this chapter gave me so much trouble, but here you go! Please review, okay?**

**Also, let me know your theories as to what's going to happen, because I love that :). And while you're at it someone tell me what the hell is up with Mike? I'm so confused!**

Chapter 8

TPOV

He hated hope. **Hated **it. It was the work kind of feeling, because just when you thought that your life was turning around the pieces once again crashed around you. Once you felt hope you were on the road to feeling worse than you ever had.

And he was cursing himself for feeling optimistic right now, because he was starting to feel like everything would be okay. He was feeling like maybe he was finally climbing out of the wreckage that he left behind in New York. Maybe everything would be okay.

And that was the worst thing, because if... _when... _it all came crashing down it would be all the more painful. He glanced at Spencer and Riley across the room. He had literally known that family for two months. It had only been two months, but in those two months his happiness had become so wrapped up in theirs. It wasn't even so much that Spencer had saved him anymore, as grateful as he was for that. But it was more that he finally found people that he could fit in with, a family in a sense.

Lucas had been the only person he had ever felt like that about before, and so much of that was the fact that he felt like he needed to protect him. Granted, if something or someone threatened Spencer or Riley he had no qualms about the lengths that he would go to to defend them. But their relationship was based on something more than that. He felt like he could talk with Spencer for hours about anything and everything. He felt like he could tell her things, and even though she was infinitely more educated, more intelligent, than he was she would still listen and value his opinion. He felt like she truly wanted to spend time with him, and he was just so damn grateful for her.

And Riley? He had had kids in his life before. Some of the women that spent time around them had several, but they never treated him like Riley did. It was her level of innocence. She didn't know what he had gone through, nor did she care. She just knew that she liked him as a person, and it was an indescribable feeling.

And even more than that, he had friends for the first time in his life. Good friends, friends that he knew would defend him rather than abandon him when he needed them the most. He was- he was happy, and admitting that scared the hell out of him.

He filled an ostentatious car cup full of their strongest brew for a grumpy elderly man and watched Spencer comforting Riley from afar. He couldn't hear the words that she was saying, but he was sure that they were comforting. Riley needed them on the days that she went to see her dad. Spencer hadn't shared much of her past with him, but he had the distinct impression that Darren Wilden had played a huge and damaging part in it.

It was ironic. Right as he thought his name the man walked into the Brew and up to Spencer. Both Spencer and Riley's demeanor changed immediately. Riley cringed against Spencer's side. Spencer's arm curled protectively around her shoulders. He watched her mutter some angry words to Wilden before crouching down in front of Riley.

He wished that he could go over there, but Spencer wouldn't appreciate the night in shining armor routine. Riley threw herself into Spencer's outstretched arms and they embraced for a long minute before Riley and Wilden left together. Spencer slid into a booth and put her head in her hands. Maybe he should have let her go, but honestly he couldn't imagine it; and that thought both terrified him and left him in awe. Who was this girl that she was able to shatter all of his carefully constructed walls?

He tentatively crossed the floor after tossing his apron back in the pile. In a sense of ironic timing, his shift was over. It left him wide open for distracting Spencer from Riley's clear absence. "Spencer?" He murmured, sliding in across from her. "What can I do?"

She didn't move for a long moment. When she looked up her eyes were tired and rimmed with red. "Want to get out of here? Is your shift over?"

Even if it wasn't he was certain that he'd follow her anywhere. "Where do you want to go?"

She smiled sadly and stood up. "Can I see your loft? I know you've worked on it, and-"

He laughed quietly. She was too nervous about asking to see an apartment that was technically her own. "Of course. But let's go get some food first, because I maybe have some cheese in my fridge. I've been meaning to go grocery shopping."

"Perfect," she smiled.

* * *

><p>He walked behind her, the rickety steel stair case always causing him anxiety. One day he was going to fall and probably die, and he'd be damned if he let it happen to Spencer first. She already looked off balance, because when he tried to take the take out bags from her she muttered something about post modern feminism and scoffed. She pushed open the heavy door and almost immediately sucked in an awed breath. "Toby."<p>

"You like it then?" He hadn't had a chance to do a lot, but he had tackled the big ticket items first. The walls were painted and the hardwood floors were polished and shined. It was slowly becoming his own place, and he really did love it.

"I love it!" She grinned and whirled around, apparently her stress over Riley temporarily forgotten. "Seriously, it's beautiful. I didn't realize you'd do such a good job!"

"So it really was a pity offer?" He laughed, knowing that it was and still not complaining. Where would he be without her?

"You looked like an adorable lost puppy," she chuckled. "But now it seems like it was a good investment. This place is looking fabulous. And I've heard you're a rock star barista."

He started piling the food onto the counter. They got much more than the two of them would eat, but that was okay. Variety was the spice of life, apparently. And Spencer had a way of bringing out the goofy side in him. "I'm okay."

She slid into the bar stool across from him. "So how's Dr. Sullivan going? Isn't she great?"

He thought back to his leaving the shrink's office with a smile. "I feel- I don't know, kind of light? It's hard to describe."

She smiled and started to spoon food onto her plate. "No, I totally get it. When I first got back I never thought that I'd be able to atone for all of the pain I put my friends and Jason through. But Dr. Sullivan helped me realize that I just had to push forward- to not live in the past."

He got the same impression, but it was easier said than done.

_He managed to stand in the background for most of it, but he should have known that his eyes would find him eventually. "Cavanaugh, you're up."_

_"I-" he stuttered, trying to find a way out of it. Being a part of this group was necessary for his survival, but it didn't mean that he enjoyed it whatsoever. He eyed the bloody man on the ground with apprehension. "Are you sure that he hasn't had enough?" He couldn't even tell if he was conscious._

_His eyes flashed dangerously as he looked at him from across the dim room. "He screwed me, and by extension he screwed you. Now get your shit together and kick him or you'll be next."_

_He didn't want too. He didn't want to at all, but after a lifetime of this he had developed a me or them type of mentality. If he was going to survive long enough to get out of here he had to do what he had to do. So he took a step forward and kicked the man hard in the ribs, hating himself a little more with every blow._

"I wish I could do that," he muttered. "But-"

She reached across the counter and put a soft hand on top of his. "I think that your first step is going to have to be seeing that you matter. Because after going through whatever you went through, you spend a lot of time self-loathing. And trust me, I get it. But you forget that you matter, you forget that you're worth happiness. You deserve to be happy, Toby."

He opened his mouth to respond, but luckily she was cut off by the ringing of her cell phone. Luckily for him, because he had no idea how to respond to what she just said.

Her face scrunched up in confusion as she looked at the number. She accepted the call and brought her phone to her ear. "Ry? Are you okay? What's going on?"

He could hear the crying from where he was sitting and it immediately brought his senses into high alert. Had someone hurt her? He had known that little girl for two months, but he was contemplating things that would send him straight back to jail.

Spencer's face went white as Riley explained whatever happened. "What's the room number, baby? I'll be there in five." She listened to Riley for another second before nodding. "I love you," she said softly and hung up.

"Spencer, what happened?"

She looked at him for a second. "You better come too, if you don't mind. I might need someone to hold me back, because I'm going to kill him."


	9. Chapter 9

**Things are only going to pick up from here! I'm really excited for where this is going, and I hope that you guys are too! Let me know your theories. No one has guessed what happened to Toby yet, but the first person that does will get a shout out when that is revealed!**

**Let me know what you guys think, okay? LOVE YOU.**

**Also, I'm losing it. I'm really going to verbally punch the next person who is mean to Toby Cavanaugh right in the face. HE IS DOING WHAT HE HAS TO DO. Leave him alone.**

Chapter 9

SPOV

Everything was tinged in a firey red. Including probably her eyes. Her stomach was clenched in knots and her knuckles were a ghostly white as she clutched the wheel with an unyielding grip. Driving right now was a terrible idea, but there was no other choice.

She could feel Toby's eyes on her from the passenger's seat. "What happened, Spencer?"

She tightened her grip to an impossible level and sucked in a shaky breath. She swerved into a spot near the entrance to the Emergency Room. "I'm going to kill him," she whispered, not really answering his question.

She stepped out of the car and took off, knowing that Toby would follow her. His long legs gave him the advantage as he easily caught up to her, putting a soft hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off and all but ran to the main desk. "Riley Hastings?"

The elderly secretary looked at her over the top of her glasses. "Are you related?"

"My daughter," she said breathlessly, tossing her license onto the desk. "What room is she in?"

She examined the ID for a second before sliding it back to her. "24B."

She nodded gratefully and slid down the hall, her heart pounding against her chest. She heard Toby's footsteps behind her, but even though she wasn't alone this time, she couldn't help but remember the last time that she was in this hospital.

_Guilty wasn't strong enough to describe how she was feeling right now. She stood outside the intimidating double doors of Rosewood's Hospital for an innumerable amount of time before striding through the doors and down the dark hall. She paused outside the room before swinging the door open and walking inside with her eyes on the ground._

_"Spencer?"_

_Every piece of her soul wanted her to look up at Jason's voice, but the guilt was too strong. This was her fault. "I'm sorry," she whispered. __She chanced a hesitant look up. "I'm so sorry."_

_He looked like he was going to say something, but instead he held out both arms for her. "You know that mom and dad didn't make it?" He murmured into her shoulder._

_She just nodded. If she were going to talk she would burst into uncontrollable sobs that never let up. If she hadn't asked them to get her stuff from Darren's house they never would have been hit by that semi. They never would have **died.**_

_He tightened his grip on her. "You have to know that this wasn't your fault, Spence."_

_She laughed bitterly. "What isn't my fault?"_

_"Spencer," he whispered. "Don't let this throw you backward. You know that's not what they would want."_

_She wrapped an arm around her still flat stomach, knowing that the little life growing inside of her was the only thing that was keeping her together. "I won't."_

She didn't even hesitate, pushing into the room and nearly plowing over a petite nurse in the process. Riley sat in the middle of the huge hospital bed, absolutely dwarfed by a pink cast covering her arm all the way to her shoulder. The tear tracks were still obvious on her cheeks, but she was admiring the cast with fascination.

"Riley," she said softly, climbing onto the bed across from her.

Riley's eyes immediately flashed to her face and she crawled into her lap. "Mommy," she cried, cowering against her.

"What happened?" She whispered, not sure that she could speak any louder if she tried. She was mad, _**livid. **_But she was also nearly crippled with worry.

She tucked her face into Spencer's shoulder. "Daddy wrecked the car into a tree."

"Spencer-"

She squeezed Riley tight. "I'm going to go talk to your dad really quickly, okay? I promise I'll be right back." She glanced behind her at Toby, decidedly keeping her eyes off of Darren. "Will you watch her for me, Toby?"

Toby nodded and sat on the bed next to them. He squeezed her shoulder as she stood up, gently taking Riley from her arms. "I like your cast."

She giggled. "It's pink, Toby. You're a boy. You aren't supposed to like pink."

She took a deep, shaky breath. Riley would be safe with Toby. She whipped around, for the first time taking in Darren's disheveled appearance and blood shot eyes. He was **_drunk?_** She immediately felt her eyes welling up with tears of disbelief as she put a hand on his chest and pushed him into the hallway. "What did you _do?"_

"I know it was stupid, Spencer. I know it was stupid, but the past is the past and she's **fine." **He looked like he actually believed that would be enough for her.

She shook her head, a stray tear escaping. She swiped it away angrily and pushed an unsteady Darren into the wall. "Are you _**drunk?**_" She hissed, even though she already knew the answer. "You got behind the wheel of a car with my daughter inside and you were _**drunk?!**_"

She was going to kill him. She was literally going to kill him. He grabbed her wrist to stop her from hitting him again. "Calm down."

She wrenched her wrist away from him and smacked him across the face. "You do not get to speak to me right now, and I swear to God you will never see her again. She'll never go anywhere with you again."

He laughed and grabbed her wrist again, this time with an unyielding grip. "You would never be able to pull that off."

She laughed almost hysterically. "Watch me try. Now let go of my wrist."

"Don't be an idiot, Spencer. I only want a night a month with her, but if you take me to court I'll make sure you lose her forever. You know what I have on you."

She shook her head, more tears escaping. "That was in my past. I don't do that anymore, and they can do as many drug tests as they need to figure it out. I always knew it was a bad idea to let her go with you, but this just proves it. You could have _killed _her Darren. She could have _**died.**_"

"Stop being dramatic, she's fine."

She tugged on her wrist, completely done with this conversation. "Let me go," she said slowly, her voice taking on a dangerous tone.

"I think that you should listen to her."

It was ridiculous how relieved that she felt at the sound of Toby's voice. He was nothing but kind and gentle to her, but she got the distinct impression that he knew how to take care of himself. She knew that he could protect her if he wanted to, and not for the first time, she was so glad that he was there.

"Who the hell are you?" Darren grunted, twisting her arm slightly.

She winced and tugged on her arm. Toby took a step forward and pried her out of Darren's grip. Toby pushed her behind him. "I'm someone who's going to make sure that you don't hurt either of them any more. That's all that you need to know."

And in that moment she was forever indebted to him. She didn't need a knight in shining armor, but she could use someone who was unreservedly on her side. That was something that she had quickly learned that she could never have enough of. "Go home, Darren." She grabbed Toby's hand and pulled him after her as she walked back into the room.

Riley was settled back against the pillows. "Mommy! Are you crying?"

She brushed away the remnants of her tears. "No," she forced a laugh. She crawled back across the bed and sat next to Riley, who immediately crawled into her lap.

Riley just settled in against her and put her good thumb into her mouth. Usually Spencer would have corrected her, but how could she not let it go today? "Can we watch Nemo, Mommy?"

"If they have it," she said softly, eyeing the video cabinet underneath the TV. "Can you let me up for a second so I can check?"

Toby shook his head. "No, I got it. What movie am I looking for?"

"Finding Nemo," Riley said in an excited mush of words. "Haven't you ever seen it, Toby? It's the best movie in the whole wide world."

She laughed pulling Riley close. "It is pretty great."

"Well then I hope that have this cinematic masterpiece so I can stop looking silly to you guys." He shuffled through the DVDs for a second. "We're in luck!"

"Nemo!" Riley cheered. She craned her neck backwards. "Mommy, can you sign my cast? It's pretty, right? They said I could have red, blue, orange, black, white, green or pink. I picked pink, duh. I think it was the prettiest color. Oh wait, yellow was a color too."

She didn't know if she was going to laugh or cry so she just offered her daughter a shaky smile and reached for the sharpie on the beside table. "It is a very pretty cast, baby." She helped Riley shift and put her cast on a pillow in Spencer's lap so she could have proper leverage. She quickly wrote out mom and drew a fish below it.

"Mommy," Riley laughed. "Is that supposed to be Nemo? He's orange, not pink!"

"Hmm," she fake mused. "Are you sure. I think he might have been pink."

"No way! He was a _boy _fish."

She rolled her eyes. She was clearly doing a good job teaching her daughter to defy gender norms. But she could save the lecture on sexism for a better venue. "Well, Toby. Play the movie so I can prove my daughter wrong!"

"Wait!" Riley shrieked. "Come sign my cast first."

She laughed. "Take it down a decibel or two, babe."

Toby smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. He drew a really convincing picture of a little girl in a cape punching a car. "This was you can hit it back."

"Toby," Riley giggled. "You're practically an artist. Maybe we should put my cast in a museum when I don't need it any more."

She smiled for real this time. "Maybe you're right, Riley." As she looked into Toby's smiling eyes, it was like something changed. Her stomach churned in a way that she hadn't ever felt before. Happy looked good on him.

"You guys are cute," he chuckled. He grabbed the remote and pressed play. "Can I join this bed party?"

"Bed party!" Riley cheered drowsily.

Spencer smiled and brushed her hair back. She was going to end up falling asleep soon, probably due to the pain medicine. She scooted over, bringing Riley with her. Toby settled in against the pillows. He shared a soft smile with her before training his eyes on the TV.

She was still so angry. She was slowly calming down, only because of the two people surrounding her. This was just the beginning, she was sure. But right now, right for this moment, everything was fine. And for now that had to be enough.


	10. Chapter 10

**I have two things to say about PLL. 1. As upset as I was with the way that Spencer treated Toby in this episode, let's be clear. Johnny kissed Spencer, not the other way around. Spencer didn't cheat on anyone.**

**2. Mike Montgomery just ruined my life. But what ruined my life more was those damn gummy bears. He went to the lake to meet Mona, and he brought her gummy bears and I'm just crying. I'm crying.**

**Anyone read the Reddit spoilers? What do you guys think? I think they're probably not true, but if they are it'll actually probably be pretty great. But I REALLY doubt they're true. It just doesn't work based on what we're told. And if you don't know what I'm talking about don't ask. I'm not going to spread details.**

**Review, okay? :)**

Chapter 10

TPOV

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Dr. Sullivan crossed her legs and offered him a sad smile. "I think so. I can see that you harbor a lot of guilt, Toby. And it doesn't seem as though it's safe for you to travel back to New York. I think to move forward you have to tell Lucas what's on your mind."

His fingers tightened around the pen as he looked down at the blank paper. He couldn't do this. "What if I call instead?" He asked her softly, thinking back to Spencer's idea last month. They never got around to it due to Riley's accident, but it felt like a good idea still.

She hesitated. "Do you think that's safe?"

"My friend suggested a burner phone." Spencer struck him as the kind of person who knew what she was talking about, but he thought that he'd run it by Dr. Sullivan.

"If you think that it's a good idea that would probably be a better solution. I think that I will let you go for the day as long as you promise to take care of this."

He nodded and grabbed his jacket, lost in thoughts as he exited the worn, brick building.

_"What are we doing?" He asked quietly as he climbed in to the back of the van, wincing as whoever was driving slammed on the gas before he could buckle his seat belt._

_"Just going to collect a little money."_

_He couldn't tell who had spoken over the blaring music, but it seemed routine enough. He leaned against the seat, glad he had stopped Lucas from coming. It wouldn't be hard, but Lucas was still largely innocent. Hopefully he could keep it that way._

He cringed when he saw that it was storming out. He really needed to find a way to get a license, because he was sincerely tired of being cold. He jumped as a horn honked in front of him. He was confused for a second until he wasn't. He smiled and ducked into the rain, hurrying to the SUV parked along the sidewalk. "Hey! What are you guys doing here?"

"Mommy said we could get ice cream, but then she said we had to be nice and wait for you because it's raining like a bad word."

He craned his neck and smiled at Riley in the backseat. "Well, I appreciate you waiting for me. It's really cold outside." He turned back to Spencer. "But you didn't have to."

She rolled her eyes. "I was already out, and I'm not going to let you freeze. Do you want to come with us, or should I drop you off at home?"

He hesitated, not really wanting to ask anything else of her. "I do want to come, and I was wondering if we could do something else too?"

"Name it," she chuckled as she shoved her car into drive and pulled out onto the highway.

"I was thinking that it might be time to get a hold of Lucas," he said simply. "I need to make sure that he's okay."

"Absolutely. The ice cream place we like to go to is in the mall, so we can stop by Radio Shack before. I thought about buying one of their phones the last time I was in there, and they were pretty cheap." Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel as she changed lanes and pulled into the mall lot.

"Why would you need a burner phone?" He asked her quietly, glancing at Riley in the mirror. If she needed help she needed to tell him.

She just shrugged. "I have a past. You know that. I need to be ready if something happens."

He nodded. He understood that. He touched his pocket. He didn't have much money, so hopefully the phone wasn't too expensive. He climbed out of the car and slid open the back door for Riley. He held a hand out for her. She was probably fine, but she had a broken arm. She should probably do as little as possible. "Want a piggy back ride?"

She giggled and nodded eagerly. "Giddie up, horsey."

He ducked down and waited for her to climb on before raising back up. He clamped his hands around her legs. Riley didn't strike him as the kind of kid that would let go, but he hadn't spent much time around children. He would be damned if she got hurt on his watch.

He thought Riley's laughter was enough of a reward, but the happy smile on Spencer's face sent his heart racing. "Thank you," she whispered, squeezing his bicep.

He hoped that she didn't feel the goosebumps that her touch erupted along his skin. They walked together into Radio Shack. "Mommy!" Riley's high pitched voice tickled the sensitive skin on his neck. "Can we get a movie on our way home? I already finished all of my homework, and I've been good, right? I even ate my peas even though they were mushy and icky."

"Man," Spencer sighed dramatically. "You must have one rotten mom to make you eat such gross things."

He felt Riley shake her head against his back. "No, she's pretty good. She just has really bad taste in veggies."

Spencer laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, alright. I guess we can get a movie if you're really good while we're here."

"I'll be perfect!" She cheered.

This mother daughter conversation honestly fascinated him. His mom had never put down the pills long enough to parent him, so he didn't have any comparison. Would his mom have talked to him like Spencer talked to Riley had she not been lost to the haze of drugs? Because Spencer had battled her way down that road herself. But the difference between Spencer and his mom was that Spencer did what she had to do to be there for Riley. It had to be hard. Drug addiction was never something that went away from you. But she pushed down those urges and cravings so that she could be there for her daughter. That was a choice his mother was never strong enough to make.

He looked down at the shelf of cheap phones. Spencer held up a model and he nodded without really looking at it. "Riley, hang on tight for a second, okay? I need to grab my wallet."

Spencer shook his head. "No, you keep a hold of her. She's squirmy. I'll go pay for this."

"Spencer-" he tried, but she was already gone. She didn't have to keep taking care of him.

"Mommy likes to buy things for people," Riley offered up from his back.

He snorted. "I'm beginning to see that."

"When grandma and grandpa died they gave her like 600 bazillion dollars. She said that we don't need it all so we have to be nice and help other people. I'm glad she helped you, Toby. I like you."

There wasn't much better than being complimented by an innocent child. She didn't see what he had gone through or the mistakes that he made. She just saw him, and apparently she liked what she saw. "I like you too, Riley."

It took Spencer awhile, but eventually she came back with the phone out of the package. "I had them set it up for me, and I asked them to make the phone's zip code one in North Carolina. You should be okay." She glanced at Riley. "Ry, want to go play before we get ice cream?"

She squealed. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Spencer smiled and shook her head. "How did I not predict that answer?" She ducked back into the busy mall and led the way through the crowd until they came across a large play place in the middle of an atrium.

"Wow," he muttered, ducking down so that Riley could jump off. "This is awesome."

Riley giggled and squeezed between them, running toward the slide. "Walk!" Spencer called after her. She sighed and turned back to him. "Do you want privacy? I can go wait at those benches over there."

He paused. "No. I think this will be easier with a friend, if you don't mind."

She nodded and put a hand on his arm. "It'll be alright."

He didn't answer, not because he was being rude, but because he was desperate to hold in his emotions. He dialed Lucas's number and held the phone to his ear, praying that he answered.

_"Hello?"_

He sucked in a shaky breath. "Lucas? It's Toby."

_"You shouldn't be calling me," _his voice immediately became hushed and quiet.

He closed his eyes. If nothing else Lucas was physically okay, and that meant everything in the world. He truly had not had any idea how much the idea of someone hurting Lucas had been plaguing him right up until this moment. "I had to know that you were okay. Have you heard from-"

_"Yes. Well kind of. He sent Andrew and Noel, and they didn't directly ask me about you. But they were looking through the apartment."_

He closed his eyes. This was exactly what he was worried about. "Are you okay? Are the kids?"

_"We're fine. I think that I convinced them that I hadn't seen you."_

"Maybe I should come home, Lucas." He bit down on his lip. He had to make this okay.

_"I'll kill you myself. You're safe there. It's your turn, Cavanaugh. Don't call me again unless it's an emergency."_

He was met by the dial tone. He ended the call and looked at the ground. What was he supposed to do?

"Is everything okay?" Spencer asked hesitantly, putting her hand on top of his.

He just shook his head. "I don't know."

"Is there anything I can do?"

He smiled despite the terrible emotions that were churning around in his stomach. "You're already doing it. You're the best friend that I've ever had, Spencer. I hope that you know that."

?POV

He clicked off the listening device with a grin. He knew having those idiots plant the bugs was a good idea. Lucas had never been a good liar. Honestly, he made an admiral effort, but he still saw right through him.

Lucas was in contact with Toby Cavanaugh. Lucas was all he needed to figure this out. And figure it out he would. He grabbed the hand gun out of the drawer and tucked it into his pocket. He lifted his cell phone, punching in 2 on his speed dial. "Noel? Meet me at Lucas' apartment. He's alone and he's a fucking liar."


	11. Chapter 11

**Sooo... this chapter is a mean cliffy. That's all that I'm saying :)**

**This is your last chance to tell me what you think is going to happen. Because next chapter you get a lot of what happened with Toby. So get excited for that! My Teach for America interview is coming up and I'm so nervous, ahhh.**

**Oh shit, also, TRIGGER WARNING for a very small flashback here. Proceed with caution. Feel free to skip over the second flashback if it's bothering you.**

Chapter 11

SPOV

Two weeks had gone by too fast. She sighed and looked at Riley, scribbling on a blank piece of paper.

"Are you sure about this, Spencer?"

She smiled at Toby despite her unease. "I am. Hanna's coming with me and Jason will be in the kitchen. I just need you to watch Riley for me, okay?"

"Call if you need me," he said simply. "I don't like this though."

She was a remarkably reserved person. It was so infrequent that she allowed herself to get close to anyone, but with Toby it felt like she had known him forever, not just two months. "I don't either, but it's what's best."

"We better go, Spence," Hanna yelled from the door. "The dipshit will probably come looking if we don't beat him there."

"Mommy!" Riley shouted. "Aunt Hanna said a bad word!"

Hanna made a dramatic shushing gesture. "Don't tell on me, kid. I'll bribe you with ice cream!"

Riley grinned and nodded. "I'm just kidding!" She spoke in Spencer's direction. "She only said good words."

"Yeah sure," she snorted, grabbing the door and ducking out ahead of Hanna. As soon as Hanna joined her she frowned, her positive energy quickly evaporating. "Han, is this the right thing?"

"This is absolutely the right thing. We will figure it out if he decides to do anything legal, but right now you have to focus on protecting Riley." Hanna put a hand on her back and supported her as she lead her down the stairs. "We're in this together."

She had the best people in her life.

_A pained scream ripped from her vocal chords as another contraction made its way through her body. _

_"You got this, Hastings," Hanna cheered from her bedside. "I want to meet my niece slash nephew, so I need you to hurry it up, okay?"_

_She squeezed Hanna's hand. "Trying," she pushed out between her gritted teeth. It was easier said than done though. She was so scared that her shitty life choices were going to effect her child. She stopped the pills the second that she found out that she was pregnant, but how much time had she missed? How long was she harming her baby with the toxins she had polluted her body with for so long? How had the lingering effects of the drugs effected their little body?_

_Jason's fingers wound around her other hand. "Squeeze it as hard as it hurts, Spence."_

_"Just a little more, Miss Hastings. One more push and we should have it!"_

_She gritted her teeth, squeezed her eyes shut, and she pushed with everything that she had left in her. It hurt worse than anything she had ever felt until it didn't hurt anymore. She collapsed back and closed her eyes briefly as loud cries filled the room._

_"It's a girl!" The doctor announced happily._

_She opened her eyes, the lids heavy with exhaustion. "Is she okay?"_

_The doctor smiled and pressed the small bundle against her chest. "She's perfect."_

_She pressed her lips to her daughter's smooth forehead, feeling more relieved than she ever had. Her irresponsibility hadn't hurt anyone but herself. Everything was going to be fine._

She was uncomfortable with everything when she walked into the Brew and Darren was waiting for her by the door. He roughly grabbed her arm, pretending, as he always did, that he could still treat her like that. "Are you seriously doing this, Spencer?"

"Did you think that I was kidding?" She asked him incredulously, ripping her arm from his grasp. She was so mad she could probably lift a car over his head. "You'll never see her again."

"If you think that I'm going to just let you-"

She shoved him away from her. "Let me? _Let me? _What makes you think that you can make me do anything?"

"Where's Riley?" Darren asked again.

"That's none of your-"

Darren cut her off. "No, Spencer, that's not why I'm asking. She's not with that Toby, is she?"

He was not going to start on Toby. "That's none of your business."

"It's absolutely my business if you're letting my daughter stay with a killer."

She bristled at his deflection and the boldface lie. "No, you aren't going to do this."

"It's the truth," he began earnestly, seeing that he had her reluctant attention. "I did some background on him, wanting to see more about the people that might be involved with Riley. He was in prison for the murder of a man in some kind of gang related violence."

She wanted to deny it. She wanted to defend Toby, but she couldn't. She remembered his insecurity. She remembered his quiet reminders that being around him might be dangerous. She couldn't see the Toby she knew now hurting a fly, but was that a learned behavior or who he truly was? "I don't believe you."

"Go ask him then," he said simply. "And in the mean time, I'll let you have this one. I understand that you're emotional, but I'll be here next Saturday to pick up Riley."

As soon as Darren was out the door she grabbed Hanna's arms, her fingers digging into her skin. "Will you come up with me? I- need to talk to Toby."

She nodded. "But don't let him cloud your opinion of Toby. He seems like a genuinely good guy."

He did, but Hanna didn't know what she knew. They silently walked up the stairs together, her thoughts torn between the contradictory images of the Toby that she knew and the Toby that did something heinous enough to earn significant prison time and the time of her life where her insecurities reigned so high that she ever allowed someone like Darren Wilden to put his dirty hands on her.

_She scooted as far back on the bed as she could, her bare back scratching against the rough dry wall. "I-"_

_Darren cut her off with a rough kiss. "Don't think so hard about this."_

_She cringed slightly, pulled her lips away from his. "No," she whispered. "No, I don't-"_

_"Who else is going to want you, Spencer?" He murmured, his lips hot against her neck._

_Her eyes welled up with tears as she dug her nails into the sweaty skin of his back. She was high, but was she so high that she wasn't making herself clear? Did he not understand that she didn't want this? "No, Darren I-"_

_"Mmm," he murmured, his teeth nipping her collarbone. "You know you love it when you get rough with me, baby." His fingers fumbled down her front, lightly brushing over her breasts. "Let's finally take this all the way."_

_A tear ran down her cheek, but he didn't see it. He was too busy taking her shirt off. "You're so beautiful, Spencer. I hope you know that."_

_Was she? She closed her eyes and sucked in a shaky breath. Maybe she could learn to like this?_

She was torn from her memories as the door to Toby's loft thumped shut behind them. Toby stood up from the table where he and Riley were working on an art project. "Are you guys okay?"

She immediately looked down at the ground. "Can I talk to you for a second, Toby?"

"Of course," he said softly. He waited for her to lead the way down the hall and followed after her. It was uncomfortable. Everything about this entire situation was uncomfortable. He closed the door behind him and gestured for her to sit on the bed. Once she was sitting on the bed he looked at her with concerned eyes. "You okay?"

She looked down at the ground. "I know I told you that it didn't matter, but I need- God, I don't want to ask you about anything you aren't ready to talk about. But Darren said-"

"He told you what happened to me, right?"

She looked up at him. Guilt churned in her stomach at the pain in his eyes. "I just need to know. You don't have to tell me details, but I need to keep Riley safe. I don't think you're dangerous, but-"

"I've told you all along that being around me could be dangerous," he all but whispered. "But I'll tell you everything."

His eyes were framed with red as he shifted to sit next to her. "And if it changes anything? If you don't feel safe around me I'll be gone tomorrow, okay? You have to be honest with me."

She wanted to reassure him, because he looked like he wanted to die on the spot. Somehow, seeing Toby like that hurt worse than a punch to the gut. He had been through so much in his life. She hated to be a source of sadness for him. But she had to know.

He breathed slowly for a second before speaking. "It really all started when I was 12."


	12. Chapter 12

**This is intense. Proceed with caution, and for the love of God, if you are under 13 do not read this. Nothing is detailed so much as implied, but yeah. Next chapter... haha it's my favorite one yet of this story. We're getting to the conflict, y'all. :)**

**Review, okay?**

Chapter 12

TPOV

He didn't want to tell her this story, but he didn't see a way out of it. It wasn't honesty he was opposed to so much as trying to navigate this shitty life without the girl that had quickly become the best friend that he had ever had.

But he hadn't denied anything and she was still there. She had to see him for who he really was. She had to see that he wasn't the kind of guy that would hurt someone else. If she didn't she would have taken Riley and run. But she was still here, and that meant that he had a chance to make this right. "My parents- they were never the best parents." He tilted his head and looked at her with a half smile. "They didn't make the same choice that you did."

"You mean-"

He nodded, not wanting her to have to talk about her dark years. This was his time to confess, and he didn't want her reaction to be dulled by guilt over the poor choices she may have made. He wanted her to truly know how she felt without any distractions. "Their drug of choice was cocaine, and there wasn't anything that they wanted more."

She took his hand, squeezing it gently. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, not wanting to get overwhelmed by her empathy. He had to keep going. "When they ran out of money they did whatever they had to do to earn money. My mom- she slept with anyone who would toss her a couple bucks afterward. My dad panhandled on the subway. Both of them pickpocketed where they could, but none of that yielded much."

He swallowed. Only two people in the world knew this, one was his constant companion throughout all the pain and the other was his Angel of Death. He thought he saved him, but in reality he was bringing him into a situation that was so much worse. "I had this neighbor, Jenna. I don't even know how the conversation was brought up, and I'm not sure that I want to know. But Jenna- she offered my parents a lot of money for my company."

"Are you saying she..." Spencer trailed off sadly.

He shook his head. "No, we never did anything more than eat snacks and watch TV. Sometimes she would make me sit in her lap, and she would play with my hair. But that was as bad as it ever got. Honestly though, it was just a matter of time. Jenna was pretty disturbed." He closed his eyes. "One day her cousin, Wren, came to visit. He was nice to me. He was the first person that made me feel like they genuinely cared about me, and I guess I figured that was what a parent was supposed to be."

She didn't say anything, but he was endlessly grateful for the gentle pressure of her hand in his. "He told me that he had a group of friends, and that he thought I would fit in perfectly. He invited me to hang out with them one day. I was thrilled. You have no idea. My cousin was the only friend that I had ever had in my life. The prospect of having a group of people that actually wanted to spend time with me was one of the best things that had ever happened to me. But- I couldn't do it without Lucas."

"That's why you feel guilty, isn't it?" She asked him softly. "You think you put your cousin in that situation."

He shrugged. "I did."

"Not on purpose. That's something I learned in rehab, Toby. It's all about intent, and you had nothing but good intentions."

He couldn't let her justify his actions. If he let himself believe her, even for a second, he wasn't going to be able to finish this story. The worst was yet to come. "So flash forward about nine years and I'm so deep into the gang life that I have no idea how to get out."

"That's the most manipulative garbage that I've ever heard." For a second his heart dropped. He thought she was talking about him, but she continued, not looking at him. "So this asshole finds disadvantaged kids, desperate to be a part of something... but instead of giving them the love that they need he manipulates them into becoming his _followers? _Tell me where this asshole is and I'll kill him for you."

He couldn't hide a small smile. That protective instinct was what made Spencer such a good mom. But he didn't want her anywhere near Wren. "That's the thing though, I kind of liked it. I didn't like hurting people. I didn't like doing bad things, but God, I liked having a group of people that gave a shit about me."

She nodded. "I get that."

He shook his head gently. "You don't though. Even in the midst of the worst period of your life you still had people who would have done anything for you. I never had that. Imagine trying to come back without Jason or Hanna or Riley or your parents? Imagine trying to pull yourself out of your hole with no one to help you out? It's- it's impossible."

He sighed. "Lucas never fit in as well as I did. They were mean to him... treated him like the annoying kid that they couldn't get away from. I hated it, but we both knew that it was better than the alternative. The day that I got arrested, Wren was trying to make Lucas take care of a guy that owed him money. But I knew that Lucas wouldn't like it, so I volunteered to go instead. But no one told Wren until we got there."

_"What the fuck? Cavanaugh? I told you all to bring Lucas."_

_Ben shrugged. "Cavanaugh got in the middle and I thought this was time sensitive. Better Cavanaugh anyway, right?"_

_"God damn it." Wren shoved Ben and turned around, shooting the guy tied to the chair in the chest._

_It wasn't the first person he had seen get killed, not by a long shot. But there was something different about this time. Had he even done anything? "What's going on, Wren?" He had a really bad feeling about this._

_Sirens sounded outside before he even had a chance to answer. "Sorry about this, Toby. It was meant for Lucas."_

_"Are you fucking kidding me? You really think I'm going to take the blame for what you did?" He was livid as comprehension dawned on him. They meant to set up Lucas. Well tough shit, because he wasn't Lucas. He wasn't going to juts lay down and take this._

_Wren waved his hand in front of his face, displaying his glove covered fingers. "Who do you think touched this gun last? Who do you think was also seen fighting with this man," he gestured to the bleeding, twitching man in the chair, "last night at the diner? Who's hair do you think we planted before you got here? Who do you think will go down for this if you run with us?"_

_He didn't understand. "But why?"_

_Wren shrugged. "Lucas was always a liability. But I suppose this works to. Once I explain how you took the blame for him maybe he'll stop fucking up."_

_He shoved Wren and grabbed the gun, putting his own fingerprints on the weapon. "I swear to God, if you hurt him- if you touch a single hair on his head I will destroy you. I know enough to put you in jail for the rest of your life, probably even the death penalty."_

_Wren gave him a speculative look. "Watch your back, Cavanaugh." He turned and ran away. Ben gave him a guilty look before following Wren._

_As soon as they were out of sight he turned to the man, feeling for a pulse in his neck. It was faint, probably too faint, but he had to try. He pressed two hands down on his chest, the blood flowing between his fingers. He felt nauseous. What was going to happen?_

There was a long silence after he finished his story. He was scared to even look at her. "I understand if you don't want me to stay here anymore. I can figure something out."

She still didn't say anything. He took in a shaky breath before looking down at her. "Tell me what you're thinking, Spencer."

Her hands were shaking. It felt like eternity before she turned to look at him. She just stared at him for a second before literally attacking his mouth with hers. He was frozen with shock. Was this happening? Was she kissing him right now? What did she possibly see in him?

It didn't matter, because apparently there was something. He cupped the back of her head with one hand and slid the other to the small of her back. He kissed her deeply. In movies they always talked about fireworks going off when you kissed the right person, and he always thought that was stupid; but not anymore. It was like the Fourth of July in his chest. It was like he had never felt joy before this. It was like he had never been happy before, because nothing could compare to this.

Spencer Hastings officially knew everything about him. She knew the good and she knew the bad. She knew everything and she still thought he was worth something. And if the best person he knew saw his worth than maybe it was true. Maybe he mattered.

They only pulled apart when they needed air, their foreheads pressed together and their shoulders heaving as they sucked in air. "I wasn't expecting that," he whispered pitifully. There was so much more that needed to be said but that was all that came out.

She smiled. "Me either." She pulled away slightly and took his hands. "I have to ask you one more thing, and then we don't have to talk about this anymore, okay?"

"But you don't hate me?" He was pretty sure the kiss meant that they were okay, but he had to check.

She snorted. "Toby Cavanaugh, you are literally the best person I know. I just- I need to know why you think Wren is dangerous."

He hesitated. "I saw one thing like this happen when I was with Wren. Wren assumed that Andrew was bitter, and when he got out of prison he had his sister killed to keep him quiet. I don't know that Wren is going to come after me, but I'm terrified of what he'd do if he found me. And I'm so scared for Lucas, but he refused to leave the city."

She leaned forward and wrapped him up in her arms. He leaned his head against her shoulder and embarrassing tears pricked at his eyes. She cradled his head to hear chest. "You're an amazing person, Toby. You're so amazing, and you deserve nothing but happiness. Let this go, okay? Let it go, because you have a family now. You're never alone. Not even for a single second."

Before he could respond the door crashed open and Riley screeched into the room. "Mommy, Auntie Hanny says that she will take me for ice cream if you and Toby come too. Please, please, please come. Are you guys hugging? I want a hug! Toby are you sad? Don't be sad. But that's okay if you are because we're going to get ice cream, right?"

He laughed, holding out an arm for Riley to join them on the bed. Maybe Spencer was right. Maybe things would be okay.


	13. Chapter 13

**This is a little short, but you know how much I love a good cliffy. I'm leaving for my interview RIGHT NOW so send me happy thoughts. :). SO NERVOUS. But whatever, I'm awesome. They totally want me haha.**

**Talk to you guys later :)**

Chapter 13

SPOV

She watched Toby over her frozen yogurt. She could still feel his lips against her lips, his hands in her hair. She could still feel the warmth of his skin. Her eyes dropped down to his lips. She passed her tongue over hers, moistening them absentmindedly. She looked back up at him and blushed when she made eye contact with him, his twinkling blue eyes and content smile shooting right through her.

"Ry, will you be the best god daughter in the whole history of the world and go get me some napkins?"

"Aunt Hanna, I'm your only god daughter," Riley laughed, hopping up from her chair. "But I guess so."

As soon as Riley was out of ear shot Hanna turned to them with fire in her eyes. "What the hell is going on here?"

She scratched the back of her neck. "I don't-"

"Shut up, Spencer," Hanna laughed. "I wasn't asking you. Toby?" She turned to look at the boy who kind of looked like he wished that he could disappear. "What are your intentions with my best friend?"

"Hanna!" Spencer swatted at her best friend.

She grinned and shrugged. "Inquiring minds need to know." She sighed dramatically. "Little ears approach. Trust me, when I find a way to distract the kid I want to know more about this."

She tensed slightly as Toby hand gently wrapped around hers underneath the table until she realized just how good it felt and relaxed. "Let's go to the zoo," Spencer suggested softly. "Riley will pee her pants, probably. She loves the elephants. And it will give us all a chance to talk."

"Riley, did you hear that?" Hanna squealed dramatically. "We're going to the zoo!"

"The zoo!?" Riley looked around frantically. When she saw Spencer's nod of affirmation she let out an ear piercing shriek. "Elephants!"

She laughed at how well she knew her daughter. It was nice, because it was so different from her own childhood. Her mom loved her, she knew that. But it was a distant kind of love, and she certainly didn't know what her favorite kind of animal was. "Calm down, babe. Finish your ice cream and then we will get going, okay?"

She didn't know what was funnier, the comically fast way that Riley ate her ice cream or the chocolatey mess she created on her face. She grabbed a Wet Wipe from her purse. "Come here, my little monster."

"I'm not a monster, mommy," Riley giggled as Spencer took her chin in her hand.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah sure."

* * *

><p>The drive to the zoo was a short one. That was a small blessing because Riley was bouncing up and down like a pogo stick next to Hanna. "Ry, I swear I'm going to make you go to the aquarium with me first if you don't settle down."<p>

Riley stopped moving immediately. "No please."

"You don't like fish, Riley?" Toby asked from the front seat. It wasn't in a mean way or a condescending way. He said it in the kind of voice that made it clear that she could tell him anything and everything.

She shook her head, her pigtails smacking her in the face. "No! They move funny and they make my butt hurt!"

This time she couldn't stop her laughter. "Excuse me?"

"Like the swim by and I get all squirmy and it goes right to my butt," Riley tried to explain, but she really just made it worse.

All the adults in the car were laughing as Spencer pulled in to a spot by the entrance. "Score! Empty zoo day."

Hanna pulled open the door and dramatically fanned herself. "Probably because it's about a million degrees outside. But that's okay, that means they'll have those cool mist shower things out."

Her friends were stupid, but she kind of loved them. Spencer paid for the four of them at the entrance. Hanna knew better than to argue with her. She had more money than she knew what to do with due to her parents' aloof and prestigious careers. Toby made a quiet noise of protest, but she ignored him. He would learn in time.

"Mommy," Riley tugged on her hand. "Can we please, please go see the elephants. Please it's all I want in the whole entire world."

She laughed, swinging their hands. "Can you ask me in a slightly less dramatic way?"

She paused. "Mommy, can we go see the elephants?"

"I think that's fine as long as it's okay with Hanna and Toby. Why don't you ask them? We've never been to the zoo with Toby before. Maybe he has a favorite animal."

Riley nodded and let go of her hand to grab Toby's. "Toby, what's your favorite animal?"

He smiled at her. "I've actually never been to a zoo before."

Would he ever cease to say things that broke her heart? She frowned and turned to Hanna. "I don't know what to do."

She linked arms with her and leaned in. "Why do you say that?"

"His past aside," she wasn't worried about that anymore, and Hanna didn't need to be either. "I've never thought about dating before, and Riley's already so attached. What if he's not into a long term thing? I just-"

Hanna gave her a look before craning her neck around her. "Ry, come here. We're going to let your mom take Toby to see his animals while we go to the elephants, okay?"

"Okay," she said happily. "But we have to all go to the pirate ship restaurant together, okay? Toby you'll like it, I promise!"

"That definitely sounds like the most awesome restaurant in the universe," Toby said eagerly. "Have fun with the elephants."

Riley had moved on by that point, skipping off with Hanna. Hanna grabbed Riley's hand and tossed Spencer a significant look before joining in on the little girl's enthusiastic conversation. "She's ridiculous," Spencer muttered as she turned to look at Toby. "So really, what do you want to see?"

He grinned sheepishly. "Those fish actually do seem kind of cool."

"I _love _the aquarium." Now she was excited. "But it apparently makes my daughter's butt hurt, so I never get to go to it."

"Perfect," he hesitated before reaching for her hand. "Is this okay?"

Maybe he was the sweetest person she had ever met. "Absolutely. But listen, I have to ask you something."

"Hmm?" He murmured, looking happy but distracted.

This was hard, because she didn't want to sound like she didn't trust him. She trusted him implicitly, but she needed to hear him say it. "I like you a lot, Toby. And don't hate me for asking you this, okay? But I'm a fair bit more complicated than most woman, and more than anything, I won't let Riley get hurt. She's already really attached to you, and I don't want that to get any deeper if you don't see this going anywhere."

He tightened his hold on her hand and carefully pulled her through the crowd and to a bench. "I don't hate you at all," he said softly. "I think that you're a really great mom. But trust me Spencer, the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone. I really want to give this a shot, but I'm scared that you'll realize that I'm not worth it."

She was smiling now. She leaned forward and kissed him softly. "You really don't see yourself clearly."

"Spencer-"

One of the saddest things was when someone didn't see just how incredible they were. "Listen to me," she whispered, grabbing one of his hands. "Listen to me. When I look at you I see someone so strong. I see someone who made the best of an impossible situation, and someone who got dragged into something that they didn't want to do. I see someone that is worth everything in the world."

It was hard to gauge the emotions in his eyes by the look on his face. It was somewhere between disbelieving and happiness. "I've never met someone like you before," he said softly. "And-"

The both jumped as her phone vibrated against her hip. "Hold that thought," she laughed. Her forehead wrinkled when she saw a number that she didn't recognize but was vaguely familiar. "Hello?"

_"Spencer? This is Dr. Sullivan."_

"Oh," she was confused. "Um, hi? Is everything okay?"

_"I was hoping that you had a way of getting in touch with Toby Cavanaugh?"_

She sounded stressed and she didn't like it at all. "He's right here? Is everything okay?"

_"It's very important. Please let me speak to him. And Spencer? He's going to need you now. Hang in there with him, okay?"_

"Okay," she said, passing him the phone, keeping her hand tight around his free hand. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew that it couldn't be anything good.

"Hello?" He asked warily. He didn't say anything else, but she watched as the happiness slid from his face and was immediately replaced with anguish. "How?"

Toby was always so quiet and reserved, but tears were now welling up in his eyes. His face was red from the exertion of holding back his tears. Nothing good was going to come out of this.


	14. Chapter 14

**So, this is the longest thing that I've written in a very long time. You guys enjoy :). Shit hits the fan in the next chapter.**

**Collateral Damage MIGHT be up tomorrow. It'll be up the next day at the latest I'm thinking.**

**Okaaay. Please review. I don't know if it's me, the troubles spoby are having or what... but my reviews are so much less than they used to be, and it's really making me lose some motivation.**

Chapter 14

TPOV

All he could hear were Dr. Sullivan's words ringing through his ears. _Your cousin was found dead in his apartment. The girls and his wife are fine and they are in protective custody._

He hadn't had to ask her what that meant; **why **they were in protective custody was obvious.

_We suspect foul play._

Lucas was dead. His cousin was dead. The only family member that ever counted... the only person that had been on his side for 100% of his life was dead. And it was his fault. Maybe he should have taken the plea when the district attorney offered it to him.

_His lawyer, a kindly looking older man, slid a stack of papers across the rough table. "This is the best you're going to get, son."_

_He enjoyed his lawyer's visits, because they were the only kind of human contact that he got. He had no parents or family beside Lucas, and while Lucas' absence stung, he absolutely understood it. He had to protect himself. "What does it say?"_

_"That if you agree to testify against Wren Kingston they'll agree to drop the charges to manslaughter."_

_He shook his head. He couldn't do that. The whole reason he was in this mess to begin with was so that he could keep Lucas safe. If he testified against Wren Lucas would be the only person that they had to go after in retaliation._

_"Toby." He had never had a grandpa, but he had always imagined one being something like this lawyer was; old with nice eyes. "No one things that you killed that young man. You were actively trying to save him when the police got there. But if you don't testify against Mr. Kingston you're the only one that the DA's office has to go after."_

_"I can't do it," he whispered. "What are they going to charge me with?"_

_He sighed profoundly. "Murder 2. It will be 8 to 12 years, probably less because I have no doubt you will be considered for early release due to good behavior or for parole. But that is still too long for a kid like you."_

_He hung his head. How was he supposed to survive twelve years in this place? A place where you could get jumped in the lunch line for looking at a fellow inmate the wrong way. A place where his every move was monitored and observed. A place where he couldn't be the person that he wanted to be. If he spent twelve years in jail he would never be more than the person that he was right now. But honestly? He was okay with that as long as Lucas had the chance to succeed. He was a better person anyway._

The plea wouldn't have worked. He knew that. He wasn't stupid. But God, he never should have left New York. He knew this would happen. He knew Wren's people would come after him to keep him quiet, and he knew that Lucas was in danger. He knew it, and still he was in Rosewood having fun.

"Toby?"

He jerked away at the sound of Spencer's voice. He didn't deserve comfort. He didn't deserve _her._

But because she was Spencer she didn't give up. She grabbed his hand and waited until he looked at her. "What happened?" She whispered, obviously trying not to gather the attention of the other zoo goers.

"Lucas," he choked out, finding that he couldn't say anything more.

Her face immediately fell, and he felt horrible for making her sad. "What happened?"

"He killed him. He _killed _him." And suddenly he was struck with a terrible thought. What if Wren wasn't done? What if he found something in Lucas' apartment that led him to him. The thought of Wren around Spencer or _Riley? _It was too much. He had to go.

He took his hand back and stood up. "I have to go," he whispered.

"What?" She breathed, but he wasn't listening. He strode off back past the monkey exhibit they walked through to get to their bench.

"Toby!" She was right behind him, but he kept going. If he looked at her he wasn't going to be able to keep going. Spencer was the only person who ever cared about him even though she didn't have to. And he loved her for that. He loved her. It was too soon to feel that, to think that. But God, he loved her and he was never going to let her get hurt.

But even more than any of that, she had to worry about Riley. She already had her creepy ex breathing down her neck, she didn't need anyone to find out about this. Maybe Wren would come and maybe he wouldn't. But he couldn't risk it. He couldn't risk them.

He only stopped as her gentle hands grabbed his bicep. "Toby look at me."

He turned but he he kept his eyes on the ground. He couldn't look at her. He didn't deserve to look at her. But she framed his face with her hands and tilted it in her direction. "You can't leave, Toby," she whispered. "You can't leave. That's exactly what he wants."

"I won't let him hurt you." There wasn't anything else to say. "I won't let him hurt you, Spencer."

She laughed without humor. "I have been hurt plenty of times in my life, Toby. And I'm sure that I'll keep being hurt in the future. You can't stop yourself from getting hurt in the world, but you have a say in who hurts you." She moved a hand to the back of his head and pulled his lips down to meet hers. "You're worth it. You are so worth it."

"What about Riley?" He pressed his forehead to hers with heavy eyes and ragged breath. He was as emotional as he had ever been. He couldn't be responsible for another death, especially not hers.

She took both of his hands. "There is every chance that Wren won't do anything more. I'm so, so sorry about your cousin, but it's probable that was enough for him. What you have to do now is make a choice. Are you going to play into his hands, or are you going to stay here with the people who care about you?"

"I have to go to New York for his funeral." How could he not say goodbye?

Spencer hesitated, grabbing his arm so that they could perch on a low wall. "I'm not sure that's such a great idea," she said. "I actually am sure that's what Wren wants. You'll be in the city, right in his grasp.

"How can I not go? It's my fault. It's my fault that his kids don't have a father. It's my fault that his wife doesn't have a husband." He was crying now, and there was no way that he was going to be able to stop. It all hurt so much.

"I was in therapy for a long time," she said softly, her thumb brushing over the back of his hand. "and the one thing that was repeated the entire time was that we had to own our actions. Did you kill Lucas?"

"I as good as," he bit on his lip and closed his eyes. "If I hadn't done what I had done he would still be alive."

"No," she disagreed. "If you hadn't done what you had done Lucas would have died a long time ago. You kept him alive with your sacrifice, and that's no small thing."

"What do I do?" What was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to keep going?

She paused, biting down on her lip. He just wished that he could kiss her. But that would just be maybe the most inappropriate reaction in the history of reactions. She touched his cheek with the tips of her fingers. "Let me call Hanna. If she can take Riley for the night I have an idea."

He nodded and looked down, letting himself get lost in the memories. It was a bad idea because he was going to get emotional, but he couldn't stop his brain from going there.

_"Mommy!" He clutched his test in his small hands, an elated grin on his face. He put a hand on his mom's shoulder and shook her a little bit! "Mommy, look!"_

_Her hand came out of nowhere, backhanding him across the face. He dropped the test with a big red A on the front and put a hand to his stinging cheek. His eyes welled up with tears and he dropped his head. "S-sorry," He whimpered._

_She rolled her eyes and turned back over. "You know better than to bother me during my time, Toby."_

_He nodded and picked up his test, folding it up and putting it in his pocket. He ran out the door and practically ran into Lucas. He frowned when he looked at his red cheek. "Did she hit you again? Toby we have to tell someone."_

_He just shook his head. "It's not like your mom treats you any better."_

_Lucas frowned and took his hand. "Let's just go. We will figure something out. It won't be bad forever."_

"Toby?" Spencer grabbed his hand again. "Hanna has Riley, so let's go, okay?"

He let her lead him out of the zoo and back to her car. "How will they leave?"

"Caleb's coming to get them when he gets off work. It just gives them longer at the zoo, which will give Riley a heart attack. And Hanna can keep up with Riley better than any adult has business doing." She said as she started the car.

He nodded and watched the hilly scenery pass them by. He was confused as they pulled up into the Walmart parking lot. "What are we doing here?"

"After our parents died Jason and I did something like this. They wanted to be cremated, so we didn't have bodies. And a funeral didn't feel right. We didn't have a lot of family left, and their friends mostly liked them for their money. And even more than any of that, I felt _so _guilty," she paused. "I think this might help you too."

"I just- I'm not sure anything can help right now." He wasn't trying to be rude, so he hoped that it didn't come across that way.

She smiled sadly. "It's worth a shot, if nothing else." She got out of the car, and when she saw that he wasn't following her she turned around and took both of his hands, helping him out. "You don't have to be strong right now, Toby. I'll help you."

He felt kind of half present as she led him into the store and grabbed the cart, still keep onto one of his hands. The gentle pressure was all that was keeping his sanity intact right now. She paused in the candy aisle. "What was his favorite candy?"

He smiled sincerely for the first time since he got the call. "Starbursts. I don't know why. They're kind of gross."

She lightly smacked him in the stomach. "Don't talk smack," she laughed. "Starbursts are on their own level of delicious."

"I'm a Snickers kind of guy," he admitted.

She nodded. "Well we'll get some of those too." She threw a bag of each into the cart. She also grabbed a cardboard looking box at the end of the aisle. "What else did he like?"

"He always used to read Sports Illustrated when he could get a hold of it. And he wouldn't admit it, but the New York Times was his second favorite. He always said that just because of where we lived didn't mean it was okay to not know what was going on in the world."

"A man after my own heart." She directed them into the magazine aisle and grabbed a copy of both. "Anything else?"

He had to think. They hadn't really grown up with a lot of tangible things. It was mostly experiences. "Pictures. It was weird, but whenever he could get his hands on a disposable camera he took pictures of everything. He couldn't afford to get them developed often, but he still loved it."

She looked sad as she nodded. "That's amazing, actually. I'm sorry you had to go through so much, Toby."

He shrugged. "People had it worse." He didn't like sympathy. It made him uncomfortable.

"Other people's pain doesn't make the legitimacy of your own pain any less significant." She grabbed two cameras and tossed it into the cart. "Okay, we just need paper and pens and then we can go."

"You still haven't told me where we're going." Was it wrong that all he saw was the coffee color of her eyes, the light blush on her cheeks, and the gentle slope of her waist? He was so in love and so devastated all at the same time. His emotions were on full.

She squeezed his hand, directing them into the check out. As the cashier started to scan their items she gave him a look. "Just trust me, okay? Everything will be okay."

He kind of spaced out after that. They got back to the car and drove off somewhere. He had always been good at shutting out the world when it all became too much. He used to run away when the walls felt like they were caving in, but with Spencer that didn't feel as necessary. As wrong as everything felt, he still felt safe. And that was the most important thing right now, because it hadn't been often in his life that he felt safe.

"This is a really special spot for me," Spencer said softly, turning the car off. "I used to come up here when things got too much, when in the midst of my black hole years. I would just sit on my favorite rock and look out over the city. Things never felt so bad when you could see it as a whole," she hesitated. "We also scattered my parents' ashes up here."

His heart twisted, and he felt it even through the pain. "Are you sure you want to share it with me?"

She looked at him like he was crazy. "Of course I do." She squeezed his hand and got out of the car, grabbing the bags from the backseat.

He slid out and followed her, taking the bags from her despite her quiet protests. "Don't spout the feminism thing to me, Spencer," he almost laughed. He had been subject to more than one feminist rant in their short amount of time together. He was a gentleman, and that struck a chord with her independent side on occasion.

She rolled her eyes and stopped next to a large rock. "This is where I usually sit, if that's okay?"

His eyes scanned the view of the quaint town that they both called home. It was weird. He hadn't seen much of it, he hadn't even been there that long; but it felt more like home than any place ever had. He sat down next to her.

She nodded and passed him the notebook. "I want you to write a letter to Lucas. Tell him what you need to tell him, what you need to say."

He couldn't even speak. It was like a walnut was lodged in his throat. He just took the paper from her and thought about it. He had so much to say, but so little time to say it all in. He uncapped the pen and held it above the paper.

**Lucas,**

**I am so sorry. I am so, so, so sorry. I never should have left you alone. I never should have left New York, or at the very least I should have made you come with me. You would have been safe. You would be alive.**

**I can look back on our lives and know that you were my family. You were my only family. You were my brother when no one else was there for me, and that's something that I will be eternally grateful for. I'll never forget you, Lucas. I'm so sorry.**

**Thank you for giving me my life back, actually for giving me life for the first time. I love you.**

**Toby**

He folded the paper in half twice and turned to Spencer. "Now what?"

She passed him a lighter. "Burn it."

"Excuse me?" He wasn't sure he heard her right. "Burn it? Why?"

"Another trick I learned in charity. It's just seriously satisfying. You told him what you needed to tell him, now you need to send him the letter."

He weighed the lighter in his fingers. He didn't see how it would help, but he was willing to give anything a shot. If it lessened the absolute anguish burning through his heart than it was worth a try. He flicked the lighter on and held it to the edge of the paper. He held onto it for as long as he could before dropped it onto the ground.

And somehow, as he watched the paper smolder he knew that everything would be already. Definitely not today, probably not tomorrow, and maybe not for months. But eventually everything would be fine.


	15. Chapter 15

**PLL SO MUCH BRAIN HURTS CANT THINK.**

**I'm going to bed, but I thought I'd post this for you guys first :). Review, please. and only one more week to wait before we get our epic spoby. Remember, remember, remember.**

Chapter 15

SPOV

The cracked window provided the perfect spying tool. She could see practically a panoramic view of the street, but it was doubtful that anyone would spot her creeping. She sighed when she saw the car that she was hoping not to see. Why couldn't he just give up?

She was still so worried about Toby. He was doing better, but a certain sparkle that he used to have was gone. She wanted to comfort him, but today she had to think about herself. What was she supposed to do? "What do I do?"

Toby leaned in his gently brushed his lips over hers. "I think that there's no right thing here. If you let Riley go with him it will _probably _be fine. But it wasn't that one time, and there's a chance it could happen again. If you don't let her go..."

She nodded and leaned into him for a second before carefully pushing away. "You relax here today, okay? I'll call Em and let her know."

He shook his head. "No way, I'm coming with you."

She sighed. Two weeks of being officially together had taught her that his protective nature was on point. "Are you going to be macho and stupid?"

He rolled his eyes. "Shut up," he nudged her shoulder affectionately and helped her up. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," it wasn't so simple. If it were anything else she would be inclined to give him another chance. Darren wasn't a monster. He just hadn't made the same choices that she had. He hadn't had anyone to help pull him out of the darkness. This was Riley, and he wouldn't risk her for anything. "I guess I'm going to have to wing it." She sighed again. "Riley!" She rose her voice and stood up, pulling Toby with her.

He carefully grabbed her hand as they waited by the door for hurricane Riley. They didn't have to wait long before she came barreling into the living room. "You said I didn't have to go, Mommy!"

She bit down on her lip. "We'll see, okay? Don't worry about bringing your bag. If you need it I'll come back up here and get it."

Riley nodded emphatically, her pig tails bouncing. "Toby! You've made this place look so pretty!"

He smiled. It literally warmed her heard to see how kind and gentle Toby was with her daughter. It was what she always wished that she had in a father. Maybe it was too soon to think those thoughts. She was only scratching the surface of the enigma that was Toby Cavanaugh. But too soon or not, that was all she could think as she watched her boyfriend and her daughter have an intense conversation of the merits of painting the kitchen pink.

Spencer reached for Riley with her free hand, but she nuzzled her way between the two of them, separating their hands and taking them in her own. "Swing me!" She squealed, lifting her feet off the ground and forcing them to hold her up.

She grunted and laughed. "Ry, maybe warn a person before you try to take their arm off!"

"Was that a fat joke, Mommy?"

She had to bite down on her lip to stop her laughter. As amusing as she found it, she couldn't encourage her sass. Teachers and other boring adults wouldn't find it as entertaining as she did. "Ry, if you have to go with your dad-"

"I don't want to," she whined, letting go of Toby and taking Spencer's arm with both of her hands. "Please, I don't want to!"

She sighed and squatted down. Riley immediately crawled into her arms and Spencer shakily stood up. Soon Riley would be too big for this, and that might literally break her heart a little bit. "You know that if he ever does anything to you that I will come get you faster than you can say my name, right?"

Riley nodded and hid her face like she always did when she was sad. She was a hyperactive little nut ball, but she was all Hastings. The kid was tough as nails, and she hated it when other people saw her cry. "I don't want to go, but I will go if I have to."

She kissed her hair and ducked through the door that Toby held open for them. When she saw that Darren was already there in their usual breath she bit back a curse and turned to Toby. "Will you watch her for a second?"

He looked like it was the last thing that he wanted but he nodded in the end. He took Riley from her, and Spencer about cried at the way she curled up into him. She usually didn't like it when anyone else held her, but apparently Toby was a wonderful exception to that rule. And honestly, she couldn't blame the kid. She wouldn't mind cuddling into him either. He gave her an imploring look. "If you need me I'll be right over there."

She smiled at his macho act. It was really, really attractive and really appreciated, although altogether unnecessary. She had been dealing with Darren for half of her life. She touched his cheek for a second before turning around and internally pleading with herself to keep her cool.

"Spencer!"

Darren had an uncharacteristically friendly smile on his face. It was honestly tripping her out a little bit. "I need to talk to you."

His smile faltered a bit but he still nodded. "Yeah, I figured. Sit. Do you want some coffee?"

She shook her head. "No, I have plans. I just think we need to talk about Riley for a second. How am I supposed to trust you with her?"

To his credit he didn't react to the anger that was so obviously brewing beneath the surface. He had quite the short temper. "Has she ever gotten hurt with me besides that one, stupid time?"

"No," she agreed with a bite to her voice. "She hasn't. But the fact that you thought that it was a good idea to get behind the wheel of the car with my daughter inside when _you were drunk _makes me question your decision making skills, if I'm being honest."

"Don't be so judgmental, Spencer," he countered earnestly. "I seemed to remember you taking many a pill when you were pregnant."

She felt her cheeks flush and her throat go dry. Somehow she managed to be both livid and humiliated at the same time. How dare he bring that up. "I did not take a single pill after I found out I was pregnant and I haven't taken one since. And you damn well know that."

"I hate to pull the cop card again, but who is a judge going to believe? Me or you?""

She shook her head. He wasn't going to pull that manipulative garbage on her again. "And what do you think the judge will say when Riley emphatically insists that she wants to stay with me?"

Darren hesitated, unprepared for her to bite back. Usually that was all that it took to shut her up, but not any longer. "They won't take a child that young's opinion into account."

"They will if it's that cut and dry. Lawyers for parents, remember?" She paused, thinking it over. "This is the best offer you are going to get from me. For the next month you will meet us here. You can get her hot chocolate and a snack, and I will sit across the room while you two spend time together. You can have as long as Riley's happy and then I will take her back."

"Back to your murdering boytoy's apartment?"

She stood up, making herself clear. "You will not bring him in to this. You will not cause that man an iota more grief than he has already been through. There is so much more to the story than you know, and you will not act as though you know it all." There was no compromising on that point. If it became necessary to destroy him she was more than willing.

He rolled his eyes like a child. "Just send Riley over."

"I'm not kidding," she warned. "If I see a frown on her face I will be back over here in a second." She walked away from him and back over to Riley and Toby.

She pulled on Riley's pig tail as she sat across from her and Toby. "Go sit with him for awhile, Ry. I'll be right over here, okay? Just have some hot chocolate and I'll be here the whole time."

She sighed dramatically and nodded. "It better be good hot chocolate."

"I think you need to take that one up with Maya," she laughed. "Go!"

"Love you, Mommy!" She sang, skipping over to Darren.

As soon as Riley was gone she stood up and slid in next to Toby. "And you need to go see Dr. Sullivan."

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into him. "Maybe I'll skip today."

"And maybe you won't," she snorted. "Just go. I'll be fine."

He took her face in his hands so that he could see her eyes. "Are you sure? I know that he makes you feel uncomfortable."

"Mostly because of what he represents," she admitted. "I'm not really afraid of him, just what he could do to Riley. And maybe a little bit the memories he brings up when he's around."

Toby brushed his nose over hers and slid his hands down her neck and to her shoulders. "I can stay if you want me to."

"What I want is for you to go see Dr. Sullivan," she said softly. "I promise I will call you if I need you, okay?" She patted the new cell phone in his pocket. "Keep the volume up if that makes you feel better."

He nodded. "Fine, but seriously. Don't hesitate to call if that's what you need."

She slid out of the booth and gave him a hug as soon as he stood up. Kissing Toby was one of the best feelings in the world, but even that couldn't beat his hugs. She could stay wrapped up in his arms forever. "I-" she bit back the declaration that was on the tip of her lips. It was still too soon. He had been through so much- he might not be ready for that, and she certainly wasn't going to push him. "I'll miss you."

"I'll be gone an hour," he laughed, lightly kissing her. "Be safe, okay?"

She smiled and squeezed his hand before pulling away completely. "Always am!" She didn't want too, but she turned her back on him and walked up to the counter. "Maya I need something with the most caffeine you're legally allowed to give me."

She snorted, "Coming right up."

The bell that signaled Toby's departure made her slump her shoulders. She had told him to go, but somehow it was always better when he was there. She sat at a table near the counter to wait for her drink, knowing that Maya would put hers at the bottom of the queue. It was better to serve the other customers first, despite her insatiable desire for caffeination.

"Hello. Mind if I sit here?"

She looked up, surprised by the British accent. They didn't get a lot of tourists in Rosewood. "By all means. Spencer."

He stuck a hand out for her to shake. He shot her a toothy grin. "Wren."

It took a moment for the dots to connect in her mind, but when they did it felt like her heart dropped all the way into her stomach. _Wren. _Toby's Wren. It was so difficult for her to keep a neutral face when she wanted to either cry, scream, or scratch this monster's eyes out. She had no idea what Wren looked like, but was there any way this was a coincidence? It was unlikely. She glanced over at Riley and Darren before looking back at him. "What brings you to Rosewood, Wren?"

If it were possible his smile only grew. "Just looking to connect with an old friend. I heard from a mutual friend that he was staying here."

If he said Toby's name she wasn't going to be able to keep a straight face. "That's lovely. If you'd excuse me, I need to make a quick phone call."

"Certainly." Everything sounded polite in a British accent, so she wasn't sure of his true feelings.

She grabbed her purse and looking at Riley for a last time as she walked away from her table and slid into the backroom. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and held her phone to her ear. He had to pick up. If he didn't she wasn't sure what she would do.

_"Are you okay? I didn't even make it to the office yet."_

He was laughing, and as nervous as she was, it killed her to ruin that. "Toby, Wren's here."

_"Where are you?" _His voice was as flat and hard as she had ever heard it.

"I'm in the back," she whispered, her eyes drifting toward the dusty window. She had to keep the fear out of her voice because no matter what happened next he didn't need any more unnecessary guilt. Her terror was not of his creation. "He sat at my table, so I'm sure he saw us together. I'm going to try to-"

_"No," _he interrupted her. _"Spencer, don't you dare move. I'm literally a minute away. Riley is with her dad, and she will be fine for a minute. You need to hide back there. Behind a shelf, a box... I don't even care. Just wait for me before you do anything."_

"Toby, I-"

But whatever she was going to say next was cut off by a damp rag and a large hand over her mouth. A sweet smell filled her nose and the phone slid between her fingers. She heard it hit the carpeted ground with a clunk. "Sorry, love." If she didn't know who this man was she would find his voice nice. But because she knew what he was capable of it filled her stomach with incomprehensible fear. "It doesn't feel like much now, but it'll hurt like a bitch when you wake up."

She dug her nails into his skin, but it didn't seem to do much. Her head felt fuzzy, like she wasn't quite present. Her vision was blurring in and out of focus and small black dots began to erupt at the edges of her vision. She grappled uselessly at his unyielding arm, pushing and scratching helplessly.

"Hmmm," he mused, shifting slightly. "I enjoy the fighters."

Her lips were the first things to go numb, but it spread quickly until she couldn't feel anything. She couldn't move, see, or even breath all that well. Once she was completely limp against his solid body he spoke again. "I'm really going to enjoy her, Cavanaugh. If you're lucky maybe I'll leave you some scraps to play with."

His laughter was the last thing she heard before everything went black and she knew no more.


End file.
